Throwing Soft Stones

This comedic monologue follows a mother venting about her teenage daughter, Megan, who refuses to wear the coat her mother picked out for her. The mother lays down the law, insisting Megan wear the coat, but as she rants, she begins to realize how much she was the same at that age.

She recalls a horrible lemon-colored coat her own mother forced her to wear, and how she hid it in her backpack the moment she was out of sight. A teacher’s comment about her not wearing a coat led to an epic lecture from her mother, threatening to staple her clothes to her back.

As the mother reflects, she remembers a special shopping trip when her mom took her to buy a pair of pink pedal pushers. Though outdated now, she remembers how much that moment meant—not because of the clothes, but because her mother spent time with her.

Realizing history is repeating itself, she suddenly decides to take Megan shopping for a coat she actually likes. She may be spoiling her daughter a little, but in the end, she's worth it—because Megan is a lot like her mom.

Cast: 1 f midage (monolog)

Bible Reference: John 8:1-11

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: none

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 5

Sample of script:

(Actor comes on stage, looking back offstage, speaking.)

ACTOR:
Well, listen here, Missy, you may be officially a teen, but fact is, you are still under my roof!
And when it’s my roof, it's my rules!

Got it, Missy? . . . So get on that coat and boogie off to school, got it?

(Pauses, listening.)

Yes, I mean the crummy, lame, despicable excuse for a coat that no reasonable mother would force their grown-up child to wear!

Until I say otherwise, you shall wear that crummy, lame, despicable excuse for a coat that no reasonable mother would force their grown-up child to wear… like 25 hours a day, rain, sleet, snow, or unbearable heat wave!

(Pause.)

And a slammed door to you too, darling!

(Turns back to audience.)

Would you believe that daughter of mine? . . . Just turned 13 and she figures to know and fully comprehend all the mysteries that have baffled humankind for centuries!

Tell me, how do you figure kids today?

Back when we were young, there was respect, and there was appreciation of authority.

(Pauses, thinks.)

‘Course, back then there was only one style, one color—that’s another subject, for another time.

(Pauses, thinks.)

Man, I remember, back in… let’s see… maybe grade 9, my mom got me this really putrid lemony-colored coat—now there was a disaster coat, I tell you!

And… get this… my mom actually expected me to wear that Value Village reject!

Man, but that coat… just to remember it turns my stomach, and…

(Pauses, looks into audience, reacts.)

Hey, one cotton-pickin’ minute here… don’t go trying to compare that disaster coat that my mom tried to dump on me with Missy’s designer coat that I got for her from Nicholas’ Fashion Emporium!

(Pauses, listening.)

Nicholas’ Fashion Emporium!

(Pause.)

OK… Nick’s Next to New Discount Clothing!

But Nick is a personal friend, and he only accepts clothing donations from the better families in town, OK?

(Pauses, thinks.)

Come to think of it, I guess the color of Missy’s coat could, under certain types of lighting, bring on nausea.

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