Three Thieves

Christians have tons of joy it seems. But watch out, here comes three thieves who are on the loose, out to steal the joy of Christians.

Lovingly written by former DramaShare member Theresa Allie

Cast: 6 m or f

• Thief #1 - Brains of the gang, serious, no-nonsense, impatient
• Thief #2 - Easy-going, laid-back
• Thief #3 - Clueless and clumsy and not entirely intelligent
• Policewoman - No nonsense, alert and serious
• Women #1- Cheerful, loving and joyful
• Women #2 - Encouraging and friendly

Bible Reference:

• Proverbs 22:22, Psalm 61:6

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song:

• Theme from "Pink Panther" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhHwnrlZRus
• Song: "The Joy Of The Lord Is My Strength" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lO2CQvNVuo

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: none

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 15

Sample of script:

Scene opens with three thieves tiptoeing onstage. Imagine they are on the street outside of storefronts.

Song: Theme from “The Pink Panther” is playing as they tiptoe across stage…music fades out

The Joy Thieves

(Scene: A dimly lit alleyway. Three thieves are sneaking around, trying to stay quiet.)

THIEF #1: Okay, we’re almost there—don’t make a sound! It’s very important you be as quiet as possible! We mess this up, and we’re gonna be in BIG trouble, you got me?

THIEF #2: Take it easy, man. It’s not like the world will fall apart if we don’t find it. We can always get it somewhere else if we don’t get it here!

THIEF #3: Yeah! If we don’t get it here, we can always get it somewhere else!

THIEF #2: That’s what I just said, man. Boy, you need to land on this planet soon!

THIEF #3: Yeah, land soon… uh, where are we going again?

THIEF #1: Would you two shut up! How many times do I have to tell you to be quiet?! Do ya want to get caught? If we get caught again, we’re going away for a long time this time—I’ll tell you that right now! So keep your traps shut if you know what’s good for ya!

THIEF #2: Hey, who’s that? It looks like a cop!

THIEF #1: It is the cops—quick! Hide!

(All three take a step back, making exaggerated movements as if creeping into the shadows against a building. They freeze as a police officer walks by.)

(A Policewoman enters, whistling as she strolls by, glancing around suspiciously as if she senses something is going on.)

POLICEMAN: Hmmm... I thought I heard something down this way... Well, maybe not. You can’t be too careful nowadays. Lots of precious gifts around here—never know who’ll want to steal them!

(The policewoman continues on her way, begins whistling again, and exits the stage.)

THIEF #1: Whoa, that was close! I hate it when we almost get caught—the stress is enough to give me a heart attack!

THIEF #3: I know what you mean, boss! Heh-heh, remember the time we were trying to rob that Miss Goody-Two-Shoes? The one who was always helping everybody in her church? We came awful close to getting busted that time—I thought I was gonna fall right on the ground dead away when that cop came running!

THIEF #2: Yeah, man, but we got her good, didn’t we? After we were done with her, she didn’t want to help anybody after that! We pretty much squashed any ambition she had for helping people in the future!

THIEF #1: Yeah, that was great! A real victory for our side on that one. She was a perfect example of not applying what she was taught!

But we don’t have time for yapping now—it’s time to focus on what we need to do tonight.

THIEF #2: Okay, boss. Like, what’s the plan for this one?

THIEF #3: Plan? There’s a plan? I guess I’d better pay attention—I wouldn’t want to mess up or anything!

THIEF #1: Yeah, you wouldn’t want to mess up—because I’ll mess you up if you do!

THIEF #2: All right, boss, just relax! Everything will be A-okay! So, like, give us the details…

THIEF #1: Okay, here’s how it goes…

The ladies are meeting for their monthly fellowship in about 15 minutes. Our victim is one of those women who’s always going around making everyone else feel special, building people up with her positive attitude. She’s always happy, smiling, and—yuk—SINGING!

THIEF #2: I know what you mean, man. One can only take so much joy!

THIEF #3: Uh… so, like, how exactly are we gonna rob this lady of her joy?

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