On Being A Teacher

A humorous retelling of Matthew 5 portrays Jesus delivering the Beatitudes to His disciples. As He speaks of blessings for the poor in spirit, the meek, the merciful, and the persecuted, the disciples react like modern-day students—questioning whether they need to memorize, write down, or turn in the lesson. Some express doubts, distractions, or complaints, with Thomas predicting a test and Judas questioning its relevance. The Pharisees, acting as strict educators, demand to see Jesus’ lesson plan, adding a comedic twist to the well-known Sermon on the Mount.
 
Bible Reference: Matthew 5

Cast:  1 or you can bring in actors for the disciples

Set:  blank

Lighting, Sound, Costumes:  standard

Time:  2

(Actor comes on stage, or offstage voice.)

Then Jesus took His disciples up to a mountain and, gathering around Him, taught them, saying:

Jesus:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven...
Blessed are the meek...
Blessed are the merciful...
Blessed are they that search for justice...
Blessed are you when persecuted...
Blessed are you when you suffer...
Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is great in heaven.

(The disciples react.)

Simon Peter: Are we supposed to know this?
Andrew: Do we have to write this down?
James: Do we have to show our work?
Philip: May I go to the bathroom?
Bartholomew: Do we have to turn this in?
John: John the Baptizer's disciples didn't have to learn this.
Matthew: I don't have any paper.
Thomas: No doubt we will have a test on this.
Judas: What does this have to do with real life?

(The Pharisees approach.)

Then the Pharisees asked to see Jesus' lesson plan and asked of Jesus,
Pharisees: Where is your anticipatory set and your objectives in the cognitive domain?

(Jesus reacts.)

And Jesus wept...

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