Missionary Basic Training

Training "missionary troopers" to minister to "animals"???
This skit, (with a Monty Python type feel), is a take-off on training missionaries for duty.

Cast: 5+ m or f

• • roles could be doubled up or expanded
• Instructor
• Missionary Jones
• Missionary Parker
• Missionary Arneson
• Missionary Smith

Bible Reference: Matthew 9:37-38

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: none

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions:

• a military academy atmosphere with instructor barking out orders.

Time: 20

Sample of script:

As scene opens trainees are standing talking. Instructor comes on stage, trainees gather around, attention riveted on instructor.

Instructor: Ten-hut!

Missionaries come to attention form straight line in front of instructor.

Instructor: All right! At ease.

Missionaries relax

Instructor:  Alright then, listen up! I'm glad to see that you have made it this far in our Missionary Basic Training Course. You will notice that Parker is not with us today.

Missionary Jones:I noticed that she wasn't here. Where is she?

Instructor: Parker is at the zoo, that's where!

Missionary Jones: How nice! Some R & R! Parker needs a rest.

Instructor: A rest? Not too likely! Parker is at the zoo witnessing! We all know the great needs there are at the zoo. Now then, today we are continuing with our series in which we teach you how to cope with every evangelical difficulty. We can not, we must not send you out into the mission field unprepared! Now for example, suppose you are on duty in Africa. A baboon comes to see you. How would you witness to the baboon? First you would . . . .

Missionary Arneson: Excuse me. We took baboon witnessing in last week's class.

Instructor: We did? You're sure? Yes, well, all right then. A rhinoceros with great big horns comes to see you and . . . .

Missionary Smith: We took that too, sir (madam).

Instructor: We did? I don't remember that. However, should it be an eland . . .

All missionaries in unison: Done.

Instructor: Cape buffalo!

All missionaries in unison: Done.

Instructor: Lesser kudu . . .

Missionary Jones: Done. In fact we have learned to witness to every possible animal in Africa: elephant, hippo, zebra, Grant's Gazelle . . .

Missionary Arneson:. . . chimpanzee, waterbuck . .

Missionary Smith: . . . python, wildebeeste . . .

Instructor:  All right, all right! Suppose, . . . that you are in South America, in . . . Bolivia, and, and . . . and a llama comes to a prayer meeting with a request! What do you do?

missionaries look at one another, shrug shoulders, shake heads.

Missionary Jones: Well, I guess . . . I, I really don't know. We haven't done llamas yet. . . .

Instructor: Right, well there you go! You are simply not prepared for the mission field, are you? So, today then we will learn how to witness to the llama.
Now the first step in witnessing to the llama is to learn something about the llama's background.
Take him out for coffee! Get to know that llama! Ask how things are going for his cousin in Ecuador!
Then the next step in witnessing to the llama is . . . . what?

(points to Missionary Arneson).

Missionary Arneson: Ummm, let's see, . . . Bible study maybe?

Instructor: Wrong! You feed the llama borscht!

Missionary Smith: Borscht? But what if you haven't got any borscht?

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