Knights Of The Rectangle Roundtable

Knights of the Rectangle Round Table
Where Courage Meets Character—One Verse at a Time!

Saddle up for a hilarious and heart-filled 5-day adventure at Knights of the Rectangle Round Table! Inspired (very loosely!) by the tales of King Arthur, this VBS-ready series follows a quirky band of knights—including Sir Laffsalot, Sir Moped, and the wise-cracking Merle the Lizard—as they explore what it means to truly follow God.

Through high-energy comedy, audience participation, and powerful Bible-based lessons, kids learn to Seek God, Stand Ready, Serve Others, Show Mercy, and Live with Humility. Each session features a unique rap-style chant, imaginative storytelling, and interactive moments that keep kids laughing while teaching eternal truths.

Perfect for Vacation Bible School, children’s ministry, or summer outreach, this flexible drama invites every child to become a true knight—not by strength, but by a heart after God.

The themes for each day are:

• Day 1: David seeks God  1 Samuel 16:1-13
• Day 2: A king is ready. David fights Goliath  1 Samuel 17:51
• Day 3: A king is able to serve others Saul, jealous of David  1 Samuel 18:1-16
• Day 4:  David shows mercy to Saul  1 Samuel 24:1-15
• Day 5: A king shows humility. David, Nabal, Abigail  1 Samuel 25:4-35
• NOTE: all 5 parts are included in this script

Cast: 11 m or f

• 11 (7 of which are onstage, 4 are offstage narrators, could be taped)
• King Carter (King) husband of Lady Gummibear
• Lady Gummibear (Gummi) wife of King Carter
• Sir Moped (Moped)
• Merle the Lizard (Merle) (yes he is actually a lizard)
• Sir Laffsalot (Laff)
• Sir Gallonhead (GH)
• Sir Kay (Kay) (yes there is a female knight)
• Narrators 1, 2, 3 & 4

Bible Reference:

• 1Samuel various

Set:

• can be as plain or elaborate as required/desired
• The main set piece is a large table and some chairs

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song:

• a tuneless rap runs through the performance

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props:

• staff (cane) for Merle, large hat for Sir Gallonhead, cardboard helmets for all children, papers

Costumes:

• as available, medieval knights and kings costumes would be nice
• Merle’s costume could be interesting, a lizard

Special Instructions:

• During the narrated Bible readings some actors will mime some of the emotions and actions. These may be the same onstage actors or a different group. If possible we suggest that these mime actors be among the children, encouraging the children to mime their own emotions.

Time: 15 min each, 75 minutes total

Download Sample Script

Sample of script:

DAY 1

A Heart After God: God Chooses David
1 Samuel 16:1–13 (SEEKS GOD)

(Sir Laffsalot (Laff), Sir Gallonhead (GH), Sir Kay wander on stage from various spots, look around nervously, check watches, look at each other suspiciously)

Laff (giggle):
Hey, you guys look like you are waitin’ around, likely here for the same reason I am?

GH (haughty):
I don’t think so! . . . Forsooth, I was invited here . . for a special project, one of a kind opportunity . . . only the best in the land shall qualify, . . . superior knights is what they seek . . . . And, forsooth, that would be me!

Laff (giggle):
Wow! . . I was invited as well . . . Become a Knight Of The Rectangle Round Table.

GH (haughty):
You have heard of the Knights of the Rectangle Round Table? . . Really now . . . I am surprised! . . . And . . forsooth, . . . whom . . might you be?

Laff (giggle):
Whom . . you ask? . . . Well I’m might be any whom . . but actually they call me . . (proud) . . . Sir Laffsalot!

GH:
Well all I can say is . . . a very, very silly name!

Laff (giggle):
Exactly! . . . . And that is the whole point! . . You see, I . . am . . silly! (giggles)
But whom sir . . are you’m?
Likely Sir Forsooth somebody or other . . on account of you do a lot of forsoothing. . . (giggles)

GH:
I . . am none other than . . (salutes with hat, bows) . . . Sir . . Gallonhead!

(Laff giggles, rubs the top of GH’s head)

Laff:
Wow, I would have had you figured out at maybe three quarts, maximum.

GH (shock):
You, sir, touched our person!

Laff (giggle):
No actually I rubbed your head . . . kinda like this . . (rubs GH’s head again)

GH (angry):
Be gone thou scurfy knave!

Laff (giggles, runs fingers through his own hair):
I know, I shampooed my hair and I can’t do a thing with it!

(Kay timidly approaches other actors)

Kay:
Excuse me, are you guys here to be interviewed for the Knights of the Rectangle Round Table, same as I am?

(GH points at Laff)

GH (aside):
Himself is hoping to be interviewed, small hope for that one for sure!
Myself on the other hand will need no interview, one look at myself and I shall, unquestionably, be given the seat of honor at the Rectangle Round Table.

Kay (confused):
Excuse me . . but how can a rectangle table . . be a .. round table . . sir?

GH (losing patience):
Commoners! . . . . Forsooth, what would they do without myself?
As you can plainly see, our room is small, and it is square!
Now knowing this, think it through . . a round table . . . would simply not fit . . in a square room . . .

Kay:
Then why not just call it Knights of the Rectangle Table?

GH:
Tiring! . . . Tiring! . . This is forsooth becoming tiring!
Exactly when have you ever heard of knights sitting around a rectangle table?
No, a rectangle round table it shall be.
(GH looks at Kay, bewildered)
And forsooth . . whom should you be, and why are you here, may we ask?

Kay:
Well . . who I should be . . and am, actually . . . is Sir Kay.

(GH is so shocked that he almost falls over, holds on)

Laff (giggle):
Good to meet up with you Sir Kay, I am called Sir Laffsalot, on account’a I laughs a lot.

GH (angry, to Laff):
Don’t you dare say “good to meet up with you” ‘cause she can’t be a Knight of the Rectangle Round Table . . . she is a (curls lip in disgust) . . . ewwwwww . . . . girl!

Kay:
And what is wrong in a girl being a Knight of the Rectangle Round Table?

(GH is in shock, speechless, then starts to laugh uncontrollably)

GH:
Oh, my! . . . My, my, my, my, my, my!
That is sooooo rich!
A . . . girl . . being a Knight of the Rectangle Round Table!
Next thing you will be telling us is that . . . children . . could be Knights of the Rectangle Round Table!

Kay:
Well . . . why couldn’t children be Knights of the Rectangle Round Table? . .
(walks downstage, points to all the children in the audience)
In case you didn’t notice we have a lot of children here!

Laff (giggle, walks downstage and among the children):
Wow, I never noticed! . . There is like a gazillion children here! . . Wow!
And I’m sure all you guys wanna be Knights of the Rectangle Round Table, right?
(works the audience to get children wanting to volunteer)
What about you guys? . . And you guys? . . Everybody needs to be a Knight of the Rectangle Round Table, right?

GH:
That shall never happen! . . Forsooth the King will forbid it happen!

(Merle the Lizard, King Carter and Lady Gummibear come on stage)

Merle:
Hear ye, hear ye! . . . Announcing King Carter and his wife, the lovely Lady Gummibear!

Laff (giggle):
Wow! . . Impressive! . . . And who might you be .. oh guy with the high pitched voice, carrying the stick with a sharp thingie on the end?

Merle:
I sir . . am Merle the Lizard! . . . And this . . (strikes the floor with his stick) . . is how I catch my food! . . . (takes imaginary something off the end and puts it in his mouth) . . . Mmm mmm! . . . Deeeelicious!

(All actors react, grossed out)

GH:
Your Majesty . . . this . . . (pointing to Kay, repulsed) . . . person . . not only wishes that she, . . an .. . ewwww . . . girl . . . might be a Knight of the Rectangle Round Table . . but she has the nerve to suggest that . . (points to audience) . . . children might be welcome as Knights of the Rectangle Round Table well! . . I tried my best to explain . . . but . . .

King:
And you are?

GH (bows with flourish):
Your majesty’s humble servant . . Sir Gallonhead.

King:
Well Sir Gallonhead, of course you are right . . . we would be proud to have this lovely lady as a Knight of Rectangle Round Table! . . . And these wonderful children as well . .

GH (confused):
We would . . .? That is . . . (phoney smile) . . Of course we would . . . Exactly what I said . . .

Gummi:
Good, so then you . . Sir Gallonhead . . shall hand out the knight’s helmets to all of the children . . .

GH:
But . . but . . . that will mean I have to .. . . touch the . . . children persons!

King:
And what an honor that will be Sir Gallonhead! . . . (hands helmets to GH)
Now you take these helmets, hand them out to all the children . . . and . . all the rest of you . . (gives helmets to the others) . . Sir Kay . . Sir Laffsalot . . and all the other adults here, seek to make sure every one of my subjects here are made into Knights of the Rectangle Round Table.

(Actors, except King and Gummi, and helpers move among the children, ensure every child has a helmet)

Gummi:
What a beautiful sight dear husband King! . . . Seeking out the children to make them Knights of the Rectangle Round Table!

King (to children):
A beautiful sight it is indeed my dear wife, Lady Gummibear!
Can anyone tell me what knights in the olden days did?

(Actors and leaders urge children to respond; when they do, have microphones available for them to speak)

King:
Lady Gummibear my dear, as you can see we have some very intelligent young knights with us today.

Download Sample Script

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