King Caper Case File

🔍 King Caper Case File ©

A detective noir meets nativity mash-up!

Download Sample Script

What do you get when you cross the Christmas story with a couple of gumshoe private investigators straight out of a 1950s mystery? You get King Caper Case File, a witty and unexpected retelling of the birth of Christ, seen through the eyes of Sam Slade, P.I., his sidekick Sid Shady, and their fast-talking secretary, Sheeree. When King Herod hires the team to investigate rumors of a new “King of the Jews,” things spiral into chaos as ancient prophecy collides with divine purpose—and a few fly-swatting detours along the way.

This 60-minute stage production combines comedy, scripture, and heart to tell the most important story ever told in a way your audience will never forget.

 Cast: 22

• 22 (some actors could do multiple parts, many roles could be male or female)
  • Major roles:
• Sam Slade, PI, old-time investigator (including offstage voice)
• Sid Shady, PI
• Sheeree, secretary for Sam and Sid
  • Other roles: (Eli and Caiaphas could also play 2 of the  Magi)
• Herod
• Caiaphas, chief priest
• Eli, teacher of the law
• Abigail, teen daughter of innkeeper
• Sarah, teen daughter of innkeeper
• Eunice, teen daughter of innkeeper
• Naomi, teen daughter of innkeeper
• Philip, shepherd
• Timothy, shepherd
• Faithful, angel
• Melchior, Magi
• Caspar, Magi
• Balthazar, Magi
  • Minor roles: (guards and persons play  both roles)
• Guards1, 2 , 3
• Persons1, 2, 3

Bible Reference:. Matthew 1-2, Luke 2

🎬 Set Design Concepts

1. Minimalist Noir-Inspired Set (Simple, Flexible)

Great for small stages or traveling productions

• Backdrop: Black curtain or plain backdrop with silhouettes of city buildings or archways (like ancient Jerusalem).
• Sam’s Office:
  • Small desk with clutter (magazines, a fake fan, fly swatter, an old rotary phone)
  • Two chairs
  • Small filing cabinet or coat rack
  • Optional: Venetian blinds to cast shadows (can use lighting for this effect)
• Other Scenes:
  • Use movable boxes or crates that double as palace seating, inn benches, or stable walls
  • Lighting changes and spotlights signify location shifts

2. Split-Stage Setup

Keeps transitions quick and clear

• Stage Left: Sam Slade's 1950s office
  • Wood desk, filing cabinet, old typewriter
  • Desk lamp, fan, fly paper (visual gag)
• Center Stage: Neutral area used for all transitions or general dialogue
  • Use lighting or simple props to indicate different locations
• Stage Right: Herod’s palace
  • Raised platform or throne chair
  • Columns or hanging drapes for a regal touch
• Backstage or Far Stage Right: Bethlehem stable
  • Hay bales, wooden manger, lantern
  • Add string lights or warm lighting for soft ambiance during nativity scenes

3. Vintage Detective Comic Book Style (Creative & Fun)

For a stylized visual twist

• Paint set flats like panels in a comic book—bold black lines, grayscale tones, pops of red for Sam/Sid/Sheeree’s outfits
• Backdrop transitions through projected titles or props labeled like:
  • “Act 1: Slade’s Office”
  • “Act 2: Herod’s Palace”
  • “Act 3: Bethlehem”
• Use vintage props and intentionally overdone labels like “SECRET FILES” or “CRIME SCENE”
• Stable scene could be glowing behind a cut-out city silhouette

Sound: wireless mic, pre-recorded Sam’s opening for each act
Song: none
Lighting: spots to light up act changes
SFX: slap and fly buzzing

Costumes:

• likely traditional for all except Sam, Sid and Sheeree who are dressed in 50’s gangster

🎨 Bonus Touches

• Lighting: Use warm amber tones for Bethlehem, bright white for angel scenes, cool blues for palace drama, and warm sepia for the office.
• Sound Effects: Slap, fly buzzing, soft ambient music for nativity scenes, detective jazz loop during transitions.
• Costume Hanger Onstage (optional): A fun nod to the detective theme—characters quickly throw on cloaks, headscarves, etc., for flashback scenes or dual roles.

Time: 60

Download Sample Script

Act 1 – Slade’s Office

At opening the lights are off, voice of Sam.

SFX: the sound of fly buzzing
SFX: sound of slap

Voice of Sam: Flies! . . . Like to drive you crazy! . . Makes a man wonder . . why did God even bother creating flies?

SFX: sound of fly buzzing
SFX: sound of slap

Voice of Sam: I can not take much more of this! . . . Flies . . everywhere!
Reminds me of back in the time . . .
King Caper Case . . . ya that’s what it was . . .
Bet I still have the file around here somewhere. . .
As I recall me and Sid and Sheeree was sittin’ there, waitin’ for business . .

Lights come up slowly. Sam, Sid and Sheeree are on stage, Sam reading a magazine, Sid is sleeping feet on the desk and hat over eyes, Sheeree is filing fingernails and chewing gum.

Allow this to play for a while, Sam swats at a fly.

Sam: These house flies are like to drivin’ me snakey! . . Sheeree, didn’t I told youse go to the store, get us some sticky fly paper to kill these pesky flies?

Sheeree appears very disinterested as she answers.

Sheeree: Yah boss, you did.

Sam (annoyed): And . . . .

Sheeree: And what boss?

Sam: And did youse get the sticky fly paper I told youse to get?

Sheeree: No I didn’t boss.

Sam: OK, so youse didn’t get the sticky fly paper I told youse to get . . . so maybe you will tell me why youse didn’t get the sticky fly paper I told youse to get?

Sheeree: Well boss, I went to the store just like youse told me . . . and I did ask the store guy could he sell me some sticky fly paper.

Sam: I am startin’ to feel as though I’m draggin’ this information from youse. . . What did the store guy tell youse when youse ask him can he sell youse some sticky fly paper?

Herod and 3 guards come on stage, impatiently wait to speak to Sam.

Herod: Sam Spade, we wish to speak with you.

Sam: Hold your horses, me I’m talkin’ to my secretary here. . . . Now then Sheeree . . . what did this store guy say to youse?

Sheeree: Store guy says he can’t sell me no sticky fly paper on account of sticky fly paper ain’t gonna be invented for another like 2000 years.

Herod: Spade . . . we do not know what sticky fly paper is and furthermore we do not care, so therefore may we . . .

Sam: What’s with youse man, runnin’ around gettin’ your toga in a knot . . actin’ like youse is the king or some such.

Herod: You idiot . . we are the king of this God-forsaken region . .

Sheeree: I recognize him Sam, . . . this here fella he’s Herod, . . . set hisself up to be King of the Jews.

Herod: Yes we are Herod . . and we expect . . demand . . your attention and respect!

Sam: Ya, ya . . whatever . . so tell me, what can I do for youse?

Herod (angry): We said . . we demand . . respect . . from every one of you!

Herod moves to where Sid is sleeping, throws Sid’s feet to the floor, Sid wakes up.

Sid (moves toward Herod): Hey watch out bud! . . What do youse think youse . . .?

Guard1 moves between Sid and Herod.

Guard1: One more step and you die!

Sam moves to protect Sid, Guards 2 & 3 move to Sam, lift him off the floor by his elbows.

Guard2: You were going somewhere?

Herod: Now then, we have had enough of this foolishness, are we now ready to get to work?

Sam: Yes sir, your Herodness. . . (looks at Guard 2 & 3) . . . Perhaps if your amazing assistants would care to lower me . . . slowly . . . to the ground level . . .

Herod signals to the guards who lower Sam.

Sam: Thanks gents, that for sure was a lifting experience. . . Now then, chairs everyone . .

Sam points to chairs which are covered with magazines, boxes and garbage.

Herod: We shall stand . . . there is less chance of us infecting our person if we do not touch anything or anyone. . . . Let us just proceed in order to be out of this . . establishment.

Sam: As you please. . . (to Sheeree) . . . Youse maybe oughta clean up this joint someday soon Sheeree . . . Get rid of the big garbage anyways.

Sheeree: But boss . . . I did a deep cleanin’ around here just last month I think it was . . .

Herod (angry): Would you mind? . . We are Herod . . and our time is far too valuable to dilly dally! Now may we get down to business?

Sam: Absolutely your Herodness! . . . May I introduce to you my able assistant, goes by the name of Sid Shady.

Sid: Pleased to meet up witcha your Herodness! . .

Sam: And my secretary over there, Sheeree, she’s gonna take notes for us.

Sheeree: Oh Sam, I just put on fresh nail polish and they . . .

Sam: Fine then, Sid, youse is gonna take down the notes OK?

Sheeree: I forgot to pick up papyrus this week, sorry boss.

Sid: Likely for the best boss . . . I’m not that good at math.

Herod: We do not believe our eyes and ears! . . Your absurdity is beyond description! . . Now may we get started before I realize I am dealing with amateurs . . . who have no idea what they are doing?

Sam: Just cool down a bit your Herodness. . . . Now tell me, what brings youse all the way from your palace to my humble quarters?

Herod disdainfully looks around the room, runs finger over furniture, blows off imaginary dirt.

Herod: To call this dump humble is to give it glory well beyond its worth. Regardless . . . I am here to enlist your services. You were recommended as the number one private investigator in all of Jerusalem.
(pauses, thinks)
Which makes us wonder just how bad number two private investigator maybe is.

Sam: Your kind words bring a tear to my eye your Herodness.

Herod: I expect you to find the one who is known as . . . King of the Jews.

Sid: Call me silly your Herodness, . . . but I thought youse was the King of the Jews.

Herod: Yes I am the legitimate King of the Jews. . . But these ridiculous Jewish people have unearthed ancient writings claiming that there will be a new King. . . And it is written that this new King will lead the Jewish nation to victory over all their enemies.

Download Sample Script

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