Just Desserts

When the church ladies plan a dinner theatre, the headline act was supposed to be Hall & Oates. Instead, the audience gets “Stole ’n Oats”—a bargain-bin duo with more banter than talent. But that’s not the only surprise of the night: the ticket money has vanished, leaving only $51.27 in the cash box.

Now it’s up to the audience to slip on their detective hats, question the suspects, and decide who (or what) is really to blame. Was it an inside job? A bookkeeping blunder? Or just a classic small-town mix-up?

Packed with quirky characters, hilariously off-key songs (set to Hall & Oates classics), and plenty of audience interaction, Just Desserts dishes out comedy, chaos, and fellowship in one unforgettable evening.

Audience members don’t just watch the story unfold—they vote on the solution, then compare their answers to the “official” ending, revealed only by the director.

A fun, flexible, and interactive dinner theatre production—no wonder it’s one of our most popular scripts. Pure entertainment from start to finish!

Cast: 7 m or f

• 7 (women but could be male or female)
• Yolanda, somewhat goofy
• Trudy, intellectual
• Patricia, intellectual
• Anastasia (women’s ministries executive)
• Fifi (event organizer)
• Denzina Stole, hillbilly entertainer
• Simone Oats, hillbilly entertainer

Bible Reference: Psalm 21:6

Set:

• set can be blank but can be dressed up as required/desired

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song:

• The following MP3 clips are available from DramaShare. NOTE songs are meant to be sung badly, they are roughly to the tunes of some Hall & Oates songs:
• “Every Time We Go Away” to tune of “Every Time You Go Away”
• “Hameater” to tune of “Maneater”
• “Private Eyes” to tune of “Private Eyes”
• “You Can Solve A Mystery Too” to tune of “You Make My Dreams Come True”

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props:

• money

Costumes:

• all wear standard clothing, except Stole and Oats who are dressed more flamboyantly

Special Instructions:

• NOTE: director comes on stage at end of drama to read the “correct” solution. We suggest that two police officers (in uniform) from local police force deliver the sealed envelope with the mystery “solution” at the end of the presentation.
  (The director and police officers are not included in cast number above).
• At the back of the script are:
  • 1) Just Desserts Fact Sheet and a Ballot which are to be handed out to the audience at the end of the drama
  • 2) Sample Questions for Actors to be used in rehearsals. This is to assist the actors in becoming more familiar with their roles and also to assist them in preparing for possible random questions from the audience after the performance

Time: 60

Sample script:

Download Sample Script:  Just Desserts

(Yolanda, Patricia, and Trudy enter.)

Yolanda: Patricia, did you hear the great news?

Patricia: News?

Yolanda: Yes, Patricia, we are planning this great, huge dinner at the church—it’s simply gonna be, like, out of this world!

Trudy (pointing into the audience): Look around you, Yolanda, what do you see?

Yolanda (looking around): Well, there’s a bunch of people, sitting around at tables, looks like.

Trudy: And what are the people doing there at the tables, Yolanda?

Yolanda: Well, looks like they’re kinda having some kinda meal, seems like.

Trudy: And where are we right now, Yolanda?

Yolanda: You know, Trudy, you do ask some pretty dumb questions. Everyone knows we are at the church—(or location)!

Trudy: Well, maybe just put it all together then. What do you see?

Yolanda: Well, like I said, there’s this huge bunch of people having dinner here at the church (or location). But back to what I was talking about—I heard they were planning a big dinner here at the church (or location).

Patricia: Yolanda, look around you—it is happening!

Yolanda: Wow, Patricia, now that was fast!

Trudy: Folks for sure are enjoying themselves, having a great time!

Patricia: Yes, Trudy, and the food is awesome!

Trudy: Nice how an activity can bring folks together.

(Denzina and Simone enter, looking around.)

Patricia: Good evening, ladies. Can I help you?

Denzina: Well, like—we are, like, how do you say… here to help y’alls.

Trudy (confused): Help us?… How so?

Simone (does a VERY bad tap dance): We… are like… (sings the scale, badly off-key) …the entertainers!

Patricia (worried): As in…the entertainment for tonight?

Trudy: Please say this is a joke.

Yolanda (to Simone): I gotta say, I did like that dance you did.

Simone: Straight out of Singin’ in the Rain.

Yolanda: I saw that movie. George Clooney was awesome in that role.

(Trudy and Patricia do a double-take.)

Patricia: Anyhow, there must be some mistake.

Trudy: We hired a big-name act for tonight.

Simone: Don’t get much bigger than Stole ’n Oats!

Trudy (shocked): “Stolen oats”?!

Denzina: Not “Stolen oats”!… We are Stole ’n Oats.

Patricia (sarcastic): Thanks for clearing that one up!

Denzina: See, like—how do you say… I am Denzina. Denzina Stole.

Simone: And I am… (sings operatic badly) Simone… Simone Oats.

Denzina: Thus… we are…

Simone & Denzina (singing together): Stole ’n Oats!

Patricia & Trudy (together): Help!

(Anastasia enters, excited.)

Anastasia: Wow—do you see the crowd here tonight? I am so excited! After all, this is my first time as event coordinator, and I want everything to go just right! Everyone is looking forward to hearing the great entertainment we’ve lined up…

Patricia: Well, Anastasia, I just hope they’re as enthusiastic after the performance as they are before.

Anastasia: Can you believe it? Hall and Oates—right here in Hendersonville! (sees Simone & Denzina) Who are these people?

Trudy: They, Anastasia, apparently are the great entertainment you lined up.

Anastasia: They are?… But they aren’t Hall and Oates!

Yolanda: No, actually, these two are none other than… Stole ’n Oats.

Anastasia: “Stolen”?! But we are in church—I mean, we simply can’t have anything stolen in the church…

Simone: Not stolen oats!

Denzina: We are… Stole ’n Oates!

Anastasia: Well, I don’t care how you say it—I shall simply just die if they aren’t great entertainment! I mean, it was I who went out on a limb and recommended them to the organizing committee.

Patricia: Well, break that down—they for sure are entertainment. But as to great… the jury is still out.

Denzina: Never fear, dear lady. You’ll be over the moon about our singin’!

Anastasia: Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps if I heard one of your songs it might calm my nerves.

Trudy: My best advice is—try taking two aspirin instead.

Patricia: Well, we gotta do something. The crowd’s getting restless—they want to hear the show.

Simone: Stole ’n Oats to the rescue! (to Denzina) Come on, partner, let’s show them what we can do! What say we sing one of our golden oldies, Every Time We Go Away?

(Denzina and Simone step forward. They sing badly to the tune of “Every Time You Go Away.”)

Song:
Every time we go away
They change the locks on doors, it seems
Every time we come back home
We crawl through windows from a tree.
Every time we go away
They change the locks on doors, it seems
Every time we come back home
We crawl through windows from a tree.

(Anastasia reacts in horror and takes the microphones away.)

Anastasia: That was horrible! You said on your application you were endorsed by the CMA and Charley Pride.

Denzina: For sure—and that we are.

Trudy: The Country Music Association endorsed… that?

Denzina (confused): Country Music Association???

Trudy: Yes—the CMA.

Simone: Must be some kind of mistake here, y’alls. CMA—that’s Clem’s Meat Assembly.

Denzina: Fact is, old Clem fixes up hog meat for folks miles around Tater Falls, Wisconsin.

Simone: Not sure what this Country Music Association y’alls were talkin’ about might be, for sure!

Patricia: Well, OK then. But what about your endorsement from Charley Pride?

Simone: Charlie’s Pride Hog Jowls… yum, yummm!

All Others: Help!

Denzina: I am here to tell you folks—you marry up a slab of Charlie’s Pride hog jowls with 2 cups collard greens, 1 cup cream, ¼ cup flour, ¼ cup truffles (finely chopped, of course), toss in ½ cup butter, ¼ cup chopped parsley, ¼ cup chopped tarragon, and 1 teaspoon salt… and you got yourself a feast beyond compare!

Simone: I do declare! Ain’t that your old Granny Mae’s secret recipe you just gave out, Denzina?

Denzina: For a fact it is, Simone. But I’m sure these folks won’t blab it around. Why don’t we just go and sing old Clem’s theme song for these fine folks?

(Simone and Denzina step up. They sing very badly to the tune of “Maneater.”)

Song:
Oh here Clem comes, eat some ham and chew it up
Oh and Clem says,
Be a ham eater.

Download Sample Script:  Just Desserts

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