Jesus is Born in the Land of Misfit Toys

Written by Karl E. Wagner

What if Jesus were born in a land of misfits? Well, actually... he was. 

This two-act Christmas drama reimagines the Nativity in the "land of misfit toys," reminding us that Jesus appears among those whom the world often overlooks—on purpose. 

The story features characters typically shunned by society, such as a wino, a sex worker, lazy individuals, and a guy who collects cans. Yet God sent His Son for these very people. While the tone is mostly serious, there is also a fair amount of humor. We are all somewhat misfits, and the main characters in Jesus’ life were, too. The disciples were misfits. Mary and Joseph were misfits; she was pregnant by someone else, yet he chose to marry her anyway. The Wise Men traveled far, following a star. You get the picture. 

God loves us because we are His, imperfections and all. This story imagines what it might have been like if Jesus were born in a more modern era.

Run Time: Two Acts, approximately 40-45 minutes. Songs could be added.

ACT I
The street around a bench, and an open window
ACT II
The street around a trash barrel fire, as well as the vacant lot.

Bible Reference: Prophecies of Jeremiah, Isaiah, and a fewof David's Psalms

Cast: 16+ but some could be doubled up
AKIN - He's an old wino.
BUDDY - Lazy, won't find a job, hooked on porno
MILLIE - A Street Walker, Hooker
JAMES - Tattooed, picks up drink cans for a living.
HUGH - Wise, knows about the Word. Works for the city, cleaning streets
WANDA - A bag lady
JERRY - A street preacher, (actually prophet Jeremiah)
BARB - A former "Barbie doll," snobbish.
DAVY - Musician, (somewhat David from the Bible)
IKE - A wise, older man respected (somewhat Isaiah)
JOE - Joseph, a carpenter
MARY - Mary
THREE WISE GUYS: The wise men
CASPER
MEL
BILL
GABE and four other ANGELS

Set: A small village, and any signs have something wrong with them. A small "vacant" lot slightly offcenter stage. This is the land of the misfit toys.

Lighting: Basic, and the only effect is light dimming from dusk to dark, and a star.

Costumes: Modern day

Props: Guitar case, a bag of cans, a trash barrel, a fake fire (which could be blinking Christmas lights in the bottom

Sample script:

Download sample:  Jesus is Born in the Land of Misfit Toys

ACT I

A small village. All the signs on the stores have something wrong with them. A lone man is walking down the street. Loud music is coming from a window.

AKIN
(Singing)
Well, I woke up Sunday mornin, with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt...

(Stops at the window, shakes his head)
Hey, you in there...

(Yells)
Hey fool... you wanna turn that music down? Ain't nobody wants to hear that this mornin'. People are trying to live respectful. This is a neighborhood. Anyway, this is Sunday, you ought to be goin' to meetin'.

(MILLIE ENTERS unnoticed)

MILLIE
Going to meeting? Just like you are, huh?

AKIN
I went to the early service.

MILLIE
The early service? What early service?

BUDDY
(BUDDY looks out of the window)
He means he walked past the meetin' place early this morning.

AKIN
Don't need to hear nothing' outta you! Why don't you get a job, and stop watchin' that porn on your computer.

BUDDY
You don't know what I do. Besides, pops, the job situation looks pretty poor.

AKIN
That's 'cause you think a job's gonna walk up and knock on the door.

(Pretends to knock on door)
Knock, knock. Who's there? Job...

MILLIE
You a fine one to talk. All you do is wander the streets looking for a drink.

BUDDY
That's his job, Millie.

MILLIE
Must be... 'cause that's all he ever does.

AKIN
Oh, you all think you're funny, don't you? Huh? You ain't funny, just a bunch of misfits, is all. Misfit toys. You don't know what I do and when. Everytime I walk past the building, I say a little prayer. 'Cause the Toymaker, He cares about me...

BUDDY
I'll bet I know what your prayer is.

(Faking prayer)
Oh great Toymaker, thank you for caring about poor ole Akin... and please let me find a bottle with a little left in it...

AKIN
Keep it up. You a lazy bum who can work, but won't, and she's out in the streets hustling men... This whole town ain't nothin' but misfits. Walkin' around, a bunch of broken, useless toys; no good for nothin'.

MILLIE
I know you are not talking about me...

AKIN
What good are you doin'?

MILLIE
I provide a needed service...

AKIN
Needed for who, you? Is that the only way you can make money?

MILLIE
At least I ain't hanging around the backstreets building fires in trash cans to keep warm.

(JAMES crosses to them, picking up discarded drink cans.)

JAMES
What are you two arguing about now?

BUDDY
(Pointing to AKIN)
The usual... work. Oh, and he thinks we're all useless broken toys or something.

AKIN
Misfits! I said you were all misfits.

JAMES
What in the world does that mean?

BUDDY
A misfit is something the wrong shape or size.

JAMES
Well, Millie can't be, 'cause she seems to be the right shape to me...

MILLIE
(Moves closer)
Yeah? Need a friend for a while...

JAMES
Sorry, just window shopping.

(HUGH ENTERS, interrupting)
A misfit is someone who just doesn't seem to fit in. Always seems to be out of place.

ALL
(Adlibs)
That's us (me), (etc.)

AKIN
See! See! I was right. Misfits. Welcome to the land of misfit toys! The land where nobody fits in and nobody cares.

HUGH
You were right, in a way. Nobody's perfect. Something's wrong with all of us. But as for caring... well, the Toymaker always cares about us.

AKIN
(Mumbling to himself as he EXITS)
See, what'd I say? I was right. Uh, huh. See. You don't get to be old by being a fool. Got to know somethin' to get old. I ain't crazy, am I doggie. Huh, no, I'm not...

JAMES
(Aside to MILLIE)
Still talking to his dog, ain't he? Dog's been dead for 15 years and he still talks to it. Talk about a misfit...

MILLIE
Look who's talking? That's the smartest thing he's done this morning is to walk away from you fools. I got things to do...

BUDDY
Things... or people?

MILLIE
(Swings her bag at BUDDY)
I'll knock you into next week...

HUGH
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No violence, Millie. He ain't worth it.

MILLIE
Truer words were never said.

HUGH
There are much truer words, Millie. There is The Word.

MILLIE
If you say so.

(To BUDDY)
But I'm keeping my eye on you.

BUDDY
Which one? You cross-eyed...

(A look from HUGH stops BUDDY. JAMES and BUDDY laugh. HUGH does not.)

MILLIE
(embarrassed)
I don't need this...

(MILLIE starts to walk away, HUGH stops her, gently)

HUGH
Millie, don't let some man's words hurt you. The Word that the Toymaker left for us is the only words you'll ever hear that are always truth. He cares about you, and every one of us. He wants you to love Him, and accept Him.

MILLIE
If He really knows all about us, He wouldn't ever love or care about me.

HUGH
He loves us because He knows all about us, and He wants us to trust Him.

MILLIE
Maybe... He... I... I gotta go.

(MILLIE EXITS slowly)

HUGH
Why'd you say that, Buddy? Why'd you make fun of her?

BUDDY
'Cause it's true!

HUGH
Did it serve some greater good?

JAMES
We had a good laugh... that's good enough for me.

HUGH
A laugh, at Millie's expense. You made fun of her. The Word tells us that anyone who makes fun of the poor insults his maker. You insultin' the Toymaker?

BUDDY
What Toymaker, huh? I ain't ever seen Him. Anyway, what favors has he done for us, huh?

JAMES
Yeah, and what is this "Word" you talk about, anyway?

HUGH
The Word is what the Toymaker left for us. His words to follow in our daily lives. Maybe you haven't seen Him, but you see His handiwork everywhere. And as for what favors has He done, look around. Take in a deep breath. He made us and He put us here.

WANDA
(WANDA ENTERS and joins them)
It isn't safe to take a deep breath around here. The smell will kill you.

JAMES
And what favor did this Toymaker do by putting us here, huh? Everything around here is broken.

WANDA
Ain't that the truth. Does this, or even us, look like the work of a serious artist to you, Hugh?

HUGH
Maybe it just means you don't have to be perfect for the Toymaker to love you. Besides, most of what's broken, including us, we've done ourselves. But the Toymaker gave us a promise.

JERRY
(JERRY ENTERS speaking)
But you have to choose to love Him. To have faith that He will make good on His promise.

BUDDY
Why are you hanging around here, you bum. Get lost.

JAMES
Yeah! Go talk your silliness somewhere else. Nobody wants you... nobody even likes you, Jerry.

WANDA
And no woman's gonna waste her time on you, that's for sure.

JERRY
True, I shall have no wife or child. The Toymaker told me that, and all the people will curse me...

HUGH
Yet, he chooses to love and revere the Toymaker. He listens to the Toymaker's words, and shares them.

JERRY
The Toymaker's toys have chosen to disobey the wishes of the Toymaker. Talking wrong about each other, breaking His laws, and forcing each other away from Him. Woe to him who scatters the toys!

WANDA
(Putting out her hand)
Whoa, to you fool. You don't make sense. Scattering toys... sheep scatter, not us toys.

JERRY
Sheep scatter only when the shepherds don't tend to them as they should! We are the Toymaker's sheep.

BUDDY
Oh, hush. Last time I saw you, you were saying that you wished you weren't even born. Now what are you spouting out?

HUGH
The words the Toymaker speaks.

JERRY
How true Hugh, how true. Sometimes it seems that the Toymaker has abandoned me completely. And yes, Buddy, I have wished at times I wasn't born.

HUGH
But has the Toymaker really abandoned you, Jerry? Or has He just let things in life run their course?

JERRY
(Looks up to Heaven)
It makes no difference. I have chosen to speak His words.

JAMES
And why would you do that? Doesn't sound like He's been all the great to you.

JERRY
His words... His Word. Yeah, I sit alone, an outsider... a misfit, it seems. But once I tasted the truth in the Toymaker's Word, it became the joy in my heart.

WANDA
And you think you can live on that?

HUGH
Maybe Jerry's trust helps all the Toymaker's promises come true.

BUDDY
If He treated me that way, I'd give up on this Toymaker.

JERRY
I can't do that. I tried... I tried not to even speak His name. But it wells up inside me like a... a fire, a fire I cannot contain. I must speak the Word of the Toymaker. I always return to Him, and He will allow me to stand in front of Him one day.

BUDDY
Fairy tales and hogwash! How can you guys even listen to him talk?

HUGH
Truth seems a little hard to accept, sometimes, doesn't it?

JAMES
I heard a guy talking on TV the other night and he said the Toymaker isn't real. He says we all just got here by accident.

(BARB ENTERS speaking, PAUSES, checking herself in a window)

BARB
You had to be an accident James. Nobody would've made you on purpose. Now me... only the finest workmanship.

WANDA
And the most expensive. It costs a lot to look that cheap.

BARB
I, at least, care about how I look. Not like some. Plus, I come with all kinds of beautifully cool accessories...

WANDA
All of which must be purchased separately.

BARB
Which I purchase joyfully.

WANDA
With borrowed credit card money.

BARB
I can manage my resources, thank you, very much. If not, I'll find a friend who'll do it for me. I only deserve the very best.

BUDDY
Hey, Barb, didn't I see you on the internet?

BARB
Maybe in the world's most beautiful women list. I was created beautiful.

BUDDY
No, I think it was a video... let me go look.

(BUDDY EXITS back into window. DAVY is crossing to the group, carrying guitar case.)

DAVY
We were all fearfully and wonderfully made.

JAMES
Davy, my man. Gone from livestock handler to king of the inspirational songwriters.

(They greet, handshakes, etc.)

HUGH
You're right Davy, we are wonderfully made. Look at how intricate we are. All the little details that work together. Can we really be an accident. That's like saying a tornado went through a junkyard and left a complete jumbo jet behind, ready to fly.

JERRY
The Toymaker knew us before we were made. He told me that before I was born, I was destined to be His spokesman.

BARB
Before you were born? That makes no sense to me. Before you were born, you weren't born, so how could you be known, because no one can know someone who isn't born, so you have to be born first to be known. Therefore you cannot be known before you were born.

WANDA
That blonde must not be from a bottle.

(JERRY EXITS, walks away speaking)
But He knows us, because He makes us and plans us and our lives. Clay that hasn't been fired can be remade, but a pot that has been fired, when broken cannot be fixed. It is tossed away as garbage. If this generation won't turn back and follow the Toymaker, He may destroy it!

JAMES
What is he talking about now? Follow the Toymaker... Davy, do you believe in all this junk about the Toymaker?

DAVY
I do, with all my heart.

JAMES
But Davy, you and me... we've done stuff together. Bad stuff.

DAVY
I know, but the Toymaker has made us a promise.

HUGH
He has made us several.

DAVY
True, but one of importance is that He will forgive us for all the wrongs we have done, if we ask.

BARB
If we ask? Why do we need to ask forgiveness? I am not sorry for anything I've ever done.

Download sample:  Jesus is Born in the Land of Misfit Toys

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