In Pursuit Of More

We may know all about God, but do we know God?

Do we know God or are we just religious?

Are we using our knowledge of God to serve others?  This comedy focuses in on a professional student who has spent his life in college, earning more and more degrees in less and less meaningful fields of endeavour.

Cast: 3 m or f

• Sam
• Marilyn
• Frank

Bible Reference: Philippians 3:4-14

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props:

• lots of books

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 5

Sample of script:

(Sam and Marilyn come on stage.)

Sam:
So on my way out of the library I ran smack into this guy, he was carrying a ton of books.

Marilyn:
Wow, I didn’t think folks used the library anymore, what with computers and Kindle and all.

Sam:
Well this fella apparently is in university, has a ton of degrees.

Marilyn:
A professor?

Sam:
He must be . . he’s too old to be a student.

(Frank comes on stage carrying a stack of books, dropping some along the way.)

Frank:
Would you mind picking up my books please . . . hands full here . .

(Sam and Marilyn help pick up books.)

Frank (to Sam):
The name’s Frank . . And you look vaguely familiar . . Did you not lecture on plant zygotic embryogenesis differentiation events?

Sam:
Uhhhh . . . whatever you said Frank . . I did not do . .

Frank:
I must say I was entirely taken by your references describing the specific manipulations required to effect somatic embryo development from a variety of agronomically and horticulturally important plants.

Sam:
Uhhh . . .

Frank:
Your name? . . It was . . .(thinking)

Sam:
Sam.

Frank:
No . . no . . that’s not it . . . As I recall your name was Palmatrien Einstienovitch.

Sam:
I am . . Sam!

Frank:
No, I distinctly recall . . Professor Einsteinovitch! . . .

Sam:
I said . . I am . . Sam!

Marilyn:
Better just go along with it Sam, likely this is the closest you will ever get to being called Einstein.

Frank:
Palmatrien . . . Such a pleasure sir . . a wonderful pleasure!

(Frank sticks out hand to shake with Sam, all his books fall on the floor.)

Frank:
You must think of me as uncoordinated . . but actually I have my BSc in Athletic Medicine.

Marilyn:
Wow! . . Plant sciences . . . Athletic Medicine . . You have two degrees. Which one do you teach in college?

Frank (confused):
Teach? . . . I don’t teach . . I am a student.

Sam:
A second career?

Frank (confused):
Second career? . . Nooo! . . I have been a university student since I was 17 years old.

Marilyn:
Woooooo! . . Must have a ton of student loans!

Frank:
No time to think of that . . so much to learn . . so little time!

Sam:
And after all those years you still just have two degrees?

Frank:
Oh my, my, my, my no! . . . Let’s see . . I have . . . (counts on fingers) . . Three, six, nine, fourteen . . seventeen . . Seventeen degrees. . . And that’s just in biology. . . Then there’s Avionics, Agriculture, Astronomy, Anthropology . . And that’s just the “A’s”.

Marilyn:
What drives you to get all these degrees?

Frank:
It’s Reverse Sophophobia . .!

Sam:
Reverse Sopho-whatia?

Frank:
Reverse Sophophobia . .! . . . In layman’s terms, it’s the fear of not learning more.

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