If Id Wed A Rich Man

The innkeeper and his wife discuss his plans for the future of Bethlehem Inn, (including franchising and creating the “Best Eastern Inns and Suites”). See, . . the innkeeper is . . different . . . in this comedy.

The script is a combination of a monologue for the innkeeper and a song for his wife, written to the music of “If I Were A Rich Man” (from Fiddler on the Roof).
While the early part of this script has lots of humour, it develops into a compelling Christian message of the coming of the Messiah.

Cast:
2 (1 male, 1 female)
Female role requires singing ability

Sound:
Song “Had I Wed A Rich Man” to the tune of “If I Were A Rich Man”.

Costumes: Likely traditional costumes

Time: 8

Sample of script:

(Rebecca comes on stage.)

REBECCA: Dear God, it is me, Rebecca, wife of Timothy, the Bethlehem innkeeper.
It’s not like I want to always complain when I talk with you, God, but...
My husband Timothy... certainly a man of worth, don’t get me wrong.
And the fact is, as a young girl, I prayed constantly, night and day, that you would bring me a husband...
And along came Timothy...
At the time, I was ecstatic...
And even today, I am... satisfied... mostly...
But sometimes... like today, for instance... I wonder...
Could it be, God... that when you sent me a husband...
Might it be that you got the shipments mixed up... maybe?
If you recall, I prayed for a rich man...
And when it comes to financial status...
Well...

(Rebecca sings, Track 1)
Had I wed a rich man,
Dai-dle dee-dle dai-dle
Dig-uh dig-uh dee-dle dai-dle dum
All day long I'd lounge around the house
Had I wed a wealthy man.
Wouldn’t have to work hard,
Dai-dle dee-dle dai-dle
Dig-uh, dig-uh dee-dle dai-dle dum
If he was a biddy-biddy rich,
Dig-uh dig-uh dee-dle dai-dle man.

(Timothy comes on stage.)

TIMOTHY: Rebecca, light of my life!
Guess what?
I was just planning a new extension to our inn.
(pauses, touches her shoulder, smiles)
Oh, Rebecca, I know what you are thinking...
Why add an extension when our inn is full, like... never... actually...
But see, I was talking with Old Abraham at the temple, and he has information from inside sources that the Romans are going to call for a census...
And Bethlehem, being the city of David, why, folks from all over Israel will be flocking here.
And ours being the only inn in downtown Bethlehem, why, it’s a surefire prime investment.
Then... and you are going to love this, Rebecca... after the census, I thought we could turn the inn into a long-term seniors' healthcare facility.

(Rebecca, astonished, shakes head, shrugs.)

REBECCA: Oy!

(Rebecca sings, Track 2)
I’d have this great big house with real mar-ble floors and
Cov-er them o-ver with fine rugs
Sign out-side says “for this you can only dream - - !”
My hus-band he would spoil me, buy me the best
De-ny me the priv-i-lege to toil.
If this is life then I’m a happy wife!

(Timothy, excited.)

TIMOTHY: I can just see it now, Rebecca!
(points upward)
Four stories with a penthouse suite for the most important guests!
It will be the envy of all Israel!
Now, I realize that I don’t have the money to hire the construction... but you, my beloved, have always been very good with hammer, saw, and bricks!
Just think!... Your aching muscles will seem a small price to pay when you see the new Bethlehem Inn!

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