Gratitude Attitude

Being grateful for all around us, including our political leaders.

Even when they appear to be undeserving and even wrong.

Cast:

5 (m or f)

• Flanderson Glooper – BNN (Better News Network) announcer
• Senator Colonel J – Loud and obnoxious
• Grundy (Grundeen if female) Grumpmeister – Of Dark Side Coalition (negative)
• Harriet (Harry if male) Whocares – Of Opt-out Anonymous
• Gracie Grateful – Of Elm Street Church

Bible Reference:

1 Timothy 2:1-2

Set:

• Talk Show set with Flanderson in the center, bare or dressed up as desired

Sound:

• Wireless mics, if available

Song:

None

Lighting:

Standard

SFX:

None

Props:

None

Costumes:

Standard

Special Instructions:

None

Time:

12 minutes

Sample of Script:

Flanderson:
Welcome to BNN, the Better News Network, the nation’s leading source for all the news that is news while it is still news!
Tonight, our panel debate focuses on gratefulness…
The Attitude of Gratitude, I call it…
(projects a phony smile to the audience)
Dreamed the name up all by myself… doncha think it is way out appropriate?

Colonel J:
Well son, y’all know me, I’m just a straight shootin’ senator from Parched Whistle, Arkansas, and I would have to say to you, Glanderson Flooper, that…

Flanderson:
Pardon my interruption, Senator Colonel J, but the name’s Flanderson Glooper…

Colonel J:
Whatever, son!… But fact is, you’d be much better callin’ this chin wag… “Gratitude Is the Attitude”… Much better than that weak “Attitude of Gratitude” thingie y’all came up with!

Flanderson:
To each his own, Colonel J!… But before we start, let me introduce our panel for the folks watching on TV back home.
First, someone who needs no introduction… because he has already introduced himself… Independent Senator Colonel J from Pierced Tonsil, Arkansas…

Colonel J:
Parched Whistle… Parched Whistle, son!

Flanderson:
Whatever!… Next, we have Grundy (Grundeen) Grumpmeister, vice-president of the Dark Side Coalition.

Grundy:
Good to be here, Flanderson… although it would be nice if the chairs were a smidge more comfy.

Flanderson:
You do see the negative in everything, don’t you, Grumpy… errr, Grundy.

Grundy:
We in Dark Side Coalition can see downsides others can’t.

Flanderson (raises eyebrows):
Riiiiiiight!
Next, we have Harriet Whocares from Opt-out Anonymous.
Welcome, Harriet.

(Harriet is staring offstage, not focused, not listening. Flanderson speaks louder.)

Flanderson:
Uhhh… Harriet!

(Still no reaction, speaks louder.)

Flanderson:
Harriet!

(Harriet comes to life, looks around, stretches.)

Harriet:
Someone call?

Flanderson:
I was welcoming you, Harriet.

Harriet:
Welcoming me to… what exactly?… And who are you?

Flanderson:
I am Flanderson Glooper from BNN, and you are part of the panel in our focus group discussion of “The Attitude of Gratitude”…

Colonel J:
I still say that’s a namby pamby name y’alls have for this namby pamby focus group… Goodness knows I offered to bail you out, Spandersman Trooper…

Flanderson (angry):
MY name is Flanderson Trooper… I mean Glooper!
And “Attitude of Gratitude” is not a namby pamby name, and this focus group is not namby pamby, OK?

Colonel J:
Whatever, son.

Flanderson (angry):
Yes, whatever indeed!
Now, where were we?
Oh yes, introducing Harriet.
Now then, Harriet…

(Harriet is spaced out again, Flanderson speaks louder.)

Flanderson:
Harriet!

(Harriet comes to life, looks around, stretches.)

Harriet:
Someone call?

Flanderson:
I am Flanderson Glooper from BNN, and you are part of the panel in our focus group discussion of “The Attitude of Gratitude”…
(evil look at Colonel J)
Not a word, Colonel J!
Finally, we have Gracie Grateful from the local Elm Street Community Church.

Gracie:
I am grateful to be here, Flanderson!

Colonel J:
Now just what for y’alls brought someone from some namby pamby church? All’s that Gracie Goodgrief is a’gonna do is trot around screamin’ out “Hallelujahs” and “Praise the Lords”!

Gracie:
Colonel J, my name is Gracie Grateful, and it’s my hope that I can bring something useful to this forum from a Godly perspective.

Grundy:
Gracie, all you bring is some worn-out Christian cliché “glass half full” perspective. We all know the glass is half empty at the very best of times!

Gracie:
Surely you see the good around us, don’t you, Mr. Grumpmeister?

Grundy:
If there were any good, I would be the first to comment on it!… But for now, good news isn’t on anyone’s horizon.

Harriet:
May I make a comment, please?

Flanderson:
I would be forever grateful if you would!

Harriet:
My comment is I am bored. Everyone in Opt-out Anonymous is bored!

Colonel J:
Credit that to the namby pamby name Flatlander gave to this namby pamby forum!

Flanderson:
I am Flanderson, and I don’t need your comments, Colonel J… And Harriet, you are not bored and shall never be bored until I tell you to be bored, understand?