Women Fear-Less

This lighthearted comedy, written for a church women's retreat, follows four football-loving women who mistakenly believe that "WFL" stands for "Women's Football League" instead of "Women Fear Less." As they crash the retreat, their playful sports banter and exaggerated bravado provide comedic moments, but the deeper theme emerges as they confront real fears—fear of failure, illness, and even death.

Betty, the event hostess, helps them realize that while fear is a part of life, God's promise in Deuteronomy 31:8 ensures they are never alone. The script transitions from humor to heartfelt reflection, ultimately reinforcing the message that faith in God provides courage and strength. The play ends on a fun note as the women embrace the retreat while still clinging to their football enthusiasm.

Cast: 5 ladies

• 5 women any age
• Betty (hostess for women’s event)
• Downtown (quarterback)
• Swerve (running back)
• Blockin’ Bertha (Offensive linelady) If possible a smaller lady
• Hustle (wide receiver)

Bible Reference: Deuteronomy 31:8

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song:

• wireless mics if available
• “On Roughriders” song  (1.5 minutes) played at beginning and end

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props:

• Bible, football, pom-poms, batons

Costumes:

• Tee shirts with WFL in large lettering
• (if available) football type pads or padding

Special Instructions: none

Time: 20

Sample of script:

Setting: Betty is on stage sorting clothing and supplies. All other actors enter, dancing to a football-type song.

Music: "On Roughriders" (YouTube link, 1.5 minutes) plays at the beginning.

(Betty watches in amazement, finally shouts out.)

Betty: Stop that noise! . . . Stop it . . . now!

(Music stops. The four actors freeze with confused expressions.)

Downtown: Whhhhaaaaaattttt? . . . . What for y’alls stop our team salute, man?

Hustle: Yeh, we was for sure just getting’ inta our’ns stride, man!

Blockin’: We’s needs that hype for ta’ gets the ol’ blood pumpin’ and the adrenaline a’whompin’, man!

Swerve: It’s sorta like y’alls is tryin’ ta stuff the cork inta the bottle of gridiron reality, man!

Betty: Exactly what language are you people speaking? . . . “Gridiron . . . whompin’ . . . team salute” . . . .

Downtown: The language is . . . (Hustle, Swerve & Blockin’ stand reverently with hands over hearts) . . . good ol’ 4-down American football is what!

(Hustle throws an arm around Downtown’s shoulder.)

Hustle: And for sure they ain’t nobody like my bud Downtown here, knows good ol’ 4-down American football better!

(Downtown, embarrassed.)

Downtown: Awww shucks, Hustle, I ain't no one special. All I do is just heaves the pigskin far as I kin, and there fer sure is my bestest wide receiver Hustle—she grabs it and is gone like a streak’a lightnin’, across the goal line! . . . Whoosh! . . . Automatic 6 points!

(Betty, confused.)

Betty: “Pigskin?” . . . “Automatic 6 points?”

(Swerve turns to Betty.)

Swerve: You ain't real up on 4-down American football, is yuh, ma’am? . . . And jest who are y’alls anyways?

Betty: I am Betty, and I work here. . . . More important, who are you people?

Downtown: My regrets fer sure, ma’am. . . Me, I’m Downtown, I’m the quarterback, and (points to Hustle) this here is Hustle, best wide receiver you ever did see.

(Betty, still confused.)

Betty: “Receiver . . . of what?”

Hustle: Of . . . pigskins . . . of course.

(Betty tries to agree but remains confused.)

Betty: Of . . . course! . . . . I think?

Downtown: Yup, ol’ Hustle here, she catches the pigskin . . . but when ol’ Hustle is covered . . .

(Betty, confused.)

Betty: “Hustle is covered . . . covered by what?”

Downtown: Covered by defenders. . . . Although, truth ta tell, ain't many defenders kin cover ol’ Hustle!

(Hustle does a little dance move.)

Hustle: Shake an’ bake, human earthquake!

Downtown: But, like I said, when ol’ Hustle is covered, comes time for . . . dreaded connection . . . BB an’ S!

(Betty, still confused.)

Betty: “BB an’ . . . I mean . . . BB and S?”

Downtown: Yep, for sure . . . . If’n ol’ Hustle is covered, we’uns go to Blockin’ Bertha and Swerve!

(Betty, sighing.)

Betty: And they would be . . . ?

(Downtown places a hand on Blockin’ Bertha.)

Downtown: Blockin’ Bertha here, best offensive linelady you ever did see. She kin take on 5, 6 defensive lineladies, knock thems inta tomorrow, she kin! Makes a hole big enough fer a big ol’ Mack truck to drive through!

(Downtown places a hand on Swerve.)

Downtown: Then ol’ Swerve, our awesome, incredible runnin’ back here, she can scamper through ta the goal line! Another 6 points, baby!

(Downtown, Swerve & Blockin’ Bertha high-five.)

(Betty, shaking her head.)

Betty: So what has this to do with Calvary Chapel White Mountains and the women’s retreat?

Blockin’: “Retreat”? . . . . We’uns don’t nevah retreat, we’uns don’t! . . . Nevah!!!

Swerve: It’s just always . . . (starts singing badly) . . . On Roughriders!

(Blockin’, Swerve, Downtown & Hustle join in, singing together, badly.)

All: On Roughriders!

(Betty interrupts, exasperated.)

Betty: Please! . . . No more of that . . . singing . . . or whatever it is!

Swerve:      I git it . . . y’alls is joshin’ us is what!

Downtown:   Good joke fer sure . . .  but, back ta brass tacks, we’uns plan ta be a part of yer WFL, fer sure! . . . Women’s Football League!

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