What Goes On In The Ark

(Available in English y español)

The story behind the story of Noah’s Ark… well, kinda.

Take everything you think you know about Noah’s Ark… and toss in some zany neighbors, snarky sons, confused animals, and one very determined 600-year-old boat builder. In this hilarious yet heartfelt comedy, Noah and his family prepare for the flood—complete with unicorns, cruise check-ins, and musical numbers—on the mighty “Zark.”

Here’s what one church shared after staging What Goes On In The Ark as a dinner theatre:

*“‘What Goes On In The Ark’ was so fun! The dinner was put together by the women and featured servers in waiter attire and elegant table settings. The three sons were played by three crazy guys who did a lot of ad-libbing—but they were hilarious. Our pastor played Noah and did a great job.

We added some fun touches, including a christening ceremony for the ship and a part for our ten-year-old, who played the neighbor’s son always saying he wanted to go on the trip.

At the end, when the dove was released, we had a five-year-old run around as the dove, followed by the ten-year-old returning with the branch. So many laughs—especially about the amount of bird seed consumed!

The final song beautifully summed up the theme of faithfulness.”*

Perfect for children and adults, this play works beautifully as a dinner theatre presentation.
An easily staged comedy with music—and a meaningful message.

Cast: 8 m or f

• 8 plus extras
• Narrator
• Noah
• Wife (Noah’s wife)
• Ham (Noah’s son)
• Seth (Noah’s son)
• Japheth  (Noah’s son)
• Aaron (Noah’s neighbor)
• Priscilla (Aaron’s wife)
• any number of extras for animals and neighbors (the more the merrier)
• NOTE: Aaron could also be the Narrator

Bible Reference: Genesis 6-8

Set:

• none is really required however (if desired) the first scene would be in Noah’s home, balance is on the ark.

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song:

• “Hey Noah” Copyright DramaShare. MP3 available on the DramaShare website
• “God Sent A Sign” Copyright DramaShare. MP3 available on the DramaShare website
• (Optional) “Noah’s Ark” Dorsey Burnette available on the internet

Lighting: spotlight

SFX:

• Rain
• Lightning
• Thunder

Props:

• None really needed, keep them simple
• Could have lightweight panels of the ark to show the construction

Costumes:

• could be traditional but contemporary is suggested
• costumes for animals, as simple or elaborate as desired

Special Instructions: none

Time: 45

Sample script:

Download Sample Script

Scene: Noah’s House

(Wife is working around, dusting, cleaning. After a few seconds, Shem, Japheth, and Ham come on stage and hug Wife.)

Shem:
Hey Mom, how are you, busy I see.

Wife:
You know how it is, Shem. I like to keep things nice and clean for your father.

Ham:
What was the urgent news that Pop called the family in to hear?

Wife:
No idea, Ham. You know as much as I do—all your father told me was the news is humongous.

Japheth:
Humongous? . . . You don’t suppose that Pop is gonna try to open up his “Build Your Personal Pyramid” scheme again?

Ham:
I hope not, Japheth. We are still backordered on 6,000 tons of marble and I tell ya, the natives are getting restless.

Wife:
Some see your father as mishegas.

Ham (hurt):
Our father is no fool, he is . . unique . .

Wife:
Well, you gotta remember your father has an artist’s mind—constantly thinking of new and novel ideas. His mind’s a finely tuned machine in harmony with data not yet identified by the masses.

Shem:
I love Pop to death, but sometimes I think that finely tuned machine in Pop’s mind likely has some gears stripped by many years of fine grinding.

Japheth:
Well brothers, we have to admit Pop has hit home runs with some of his ideas.

Ham:
And some are best described as “Pop’s flys” . .

Wife:
Like a famous baseball hitter once said, “A guy’s gotta hit a ton of fast pitches if he wants to consistently hit homers.”

Shem:
I have to congratulate you on your knowledge of baseball, Mom.

Wife:
Thanks, Shem. I am real proud of how I have picked up on America’s game . .

Ham:
So true, Mom—especially since the game’s not gonna be invented for like a gazillion years.

Japheth:
Which proves that Pop is not the only sharp pencil in the box.

Shem:
Speaking of sharp pencils, here comes an e-racer . . . Get it? . . Moving fast . . An e. . racer. . . Get it? . .

Wife:
Oy vey! . . . My son, the comedian.

(Noah rushes on stage.)

Noah:
Dear wife, sons, my wonderful mishpocheh, my wonderful family—thanks for coming. I have some news. I’ve been talking to God today.

Wife:
That’s nice, Noah. I’m so proud of you! What did God have to say?

Noah:
God wants us to build a big boat. It’s going to be made out of cypress wood, and it will be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high.

Shem:
Well, that sounds good, Pop—but have you noticed, we don’t have any lakes or even good-sized puddles to float the boat around here?

Japheth:
Shem is right, Pop. Besides, we’ve never built a boat before, and we don’t have any cypress trees within, woooohoooo, long ways from here.

Ham:
And, Pop, I wonder if this is wise—you starting to build such a large boat at your age? I mean, you’re 600 years old, Pop.

Wife:
You know, dear, what your sons have said actually makes sense. Think you should pass on this one?

Noah:
Nope. God said. And besides, it’s our only hope. God told me He’s sending a flood.

Wife:
A flood?

Noah:
Yep. God plans to destroy the whole world and everything that’s on it.

Wife:
You mean, like all animals?

Noah:
Yep!

Wife:
And reptiles?

Noah:
That’s what He said.

Wife:
But not people!

Noah:
People are gonna be destroyed too!

(Wife moves downstage, fakes tragedy.)

Wife:
Whatever shall we do?

Noah:
Not a problem! Like I said, God has a plan.

Shem:
I sense this may be about the boat again, am I right?

Noah:
Yep. The Zark.

Japheth:
Zark? You want to call the boat a “Zark”? Wherever did you come up with that name??

Noah:
Not me—God. God said to me, “We’ll call it Noah Zark.”

Ham:
Noah Zark, huh? (thinks) Wait, Pop. You sure God didn’t say, “Noah’s Ark”?

Noah:
Nope, don’t think so. Think it was Noah Zark.

Wife:
Remember, dear, your hearing’s not what it used to be.

Noah:
Give me a break—I’m 600 years old! You guys think your hearing will be 20/20 when you’re 600? But fact is, the name sticks.

Japheth:
Any other instructions from God?

Noah:
Pitch inside and out.

Shem:
That’s a sticky mess, but should keep the Zark from sinking.

Noah:
And then, there’s the three decks: lower, middle, and upper.

Wife:
Seems like a lot of room just for our family.

Noah:
Actually, we will be having a few others.

Wife:
Friends of ours?

Noah:
Animals, actually.

Wife (pouts):
You have no right to talk about my family that way.

Noah:
No, I mean animals—like animals. God told me to take two of every species of animal. Seven actually, if they’re clean. But only two if they’re unclean.

Wife:
So we’re gonna take dirty animals on our cruise?

Download Sample Script

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