The Young And The Gifted

Being young and gifted by God. A comedy monologue in the form of stand-up comedy.
The comedian is explaining to the audience about what is expected of them as the actor and audience relate to each other.

Cast: 1 (monolog)

Bible Reference: 2 Timothy 1:6

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mic if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: none

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 8

Sample of script:

actor comes on stage

Hey! How are you guys doin’ tonight?

(Smiles, shakes head.)

Funny thing, have you noticed?. . . Every guy comes on stage seems to say that.

“How you guys doin’ tonight?”

Kinda dumb thing to say . . know what I mean?

I mean it’s not as if you guys are gonna, like, all of you, answer back on that question . . are you?

(Thinks, smiles.)

Can you imagine? . . . Fella comes on stage, says, “How you guys doin’ tonight?” . .Everyone in the audience stands and answers. . .

(Assume young and high-pitched voice.)
“Well I been doing better since I got my wisdom tooth pulled.”

or

(Assume old and deep voice.)
“Fact is I got arthritis in my big toe!”

If everybody in the audience was to answer, it would take like three days, just for chit-chat...

No way you guys are gonna sit around here three days. I mean, lucky if I hold your attention for five minutes.

(Looks into audience as though listening.)

Yes, I said five minutes, OK?

My monologue is like five minutes long... not counting time for applause and cheering.

Your job is to sit there for those five minutes, hang on my every word, soak in my eloquence, give up thunderous applause… understood?

Anyhow, here’s the plan...

I am about to deliver a monologue that is first cut, first caliber, gonna knock your socks off!

This monologue has never been used before—except for a performance in front of my bedroom mirror.

I tell you, the pure humor in this thing is gonna melt your brain.

When I practiced in front of the mirror, it was so funny my mirror nearly cracked up.

(Looks into audience, frowns.)

Hate to bring this up, but I can’t help but notice... seems like my humor isn’t getting through to a couple of you guys.

People, this was why you signed up for this gig—to be wildly enthusiastic about everything I say.

I tell you, if I wasn’t involved up here, I’d go sit alongside you and show you what is expected from a top-notch audience.

Look, I am the Christian comedian, the Young and the Gifted!... Gifted by God!

Your part is to be the Christian audience—the enthusiastic and the receptive. Receptive to my monologue. So if we all do our job, things should work out just great.

Understand, I’m not after sympathy applause or phony laughter.

I want your laughter and applause to be sincere.

So get on it... be wildly receptive and over-the-moon sincere.

And better start moving on that quick, on account of I only got like five minutes, and you have already wasted like, (checks watch) almost 90 seconds. So we are into what I call audience catch-up mode.

See, we are young and gifted, gifted by God, and that's good.

But Christian comedians are at a disadvantage to non-Christian comedians...

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