The Further Adventures of Hophni and Phinehas

This story is based on the loss of the Arc of the Covenant by Israel.
NOTE: This may not be QUITE how the real story goes! But it tells the story in a humorous and lively way!

Sample of script:

Hophni: Look! Here comes the Philistine General.

Phinehas: Must be time for the Pre-Fight threats and insults

Hophni: I love this part Phinehas. But, don't you think we should pass this up this time? I mean we have been on a losing streak against these guys.

Phinehas: HEY! We're the Israelite Army—Not the CUBS—We expect TO WIN! Enter the Philistine General

Philistine Gen.: HAIL LOSERS! Why not surrender now and save yourself the trouble.

Hophni: Your Mother was a HITTITE!

Philistine Gen.: Is that the best you've got? We've been kicking your lame butts from here to Judea. What makes you think it's going to stop now?

Phinehas: First of all – This time we brought the WHOLE army of Israel.

Philistine Gen.: feigning fear OOH! I'M SCARED!

Phinehas: And if you look to our right you'll see THE ARK OFCOVENANT which insures our total victory and your toasty defeat.

Philistine Gen.: You would use the Ark of unspeakable power against us? Real fear

Phinehas: Yup!

Hophni: We've got an Ark – and it's the Ark that melted your dear old Dad.

Philistine Gen.: Insolent Dog! I'm going to shove those words down your throat!

Hophni: You and what army?

Philistine Gen.: The enormous Philistine one … Right over there.

Hophni: OH!

Philistine Gen.: You might have the Ark but we loathe you both and will defy your rule or die in the attempt.

turns and leaves slowlyC
The complete script, plus all 1,600+ other DramaShare scripts, are available at no charge to DramaShare members, non-members may purchase the individual script.

This story is based on the loss of the Arc of the Covenant by Israel.
NOTE: This may not be QUITE how the real story goes! But it tells the story in a humorous and lively way!

Sample of script:

Hophni: Look! Here comes the Philistine General.

Phinehas: Must be time for the Pre-Fight threats and insults

Hophni: I love this part Phinehas. But, don't you think we should pass this up this time? I mean we have been on a losing streak against these guys.

Phinehas: HEY! We're the Israelite Army—Not the CUBS—We expect TO WIN! Enter the Philistine General

Philistine Gen.: HAIL LOSERS! Why not surrender now and save yourself the trouble.

Hophni: Your Mother was a HITTITE!

Philistine Gen.: Is that the best you've got? We've been kicking your lame butts from here to Judea. What makes you think it's going to stop now?

Phinehas: First of all - This time we brought the WHOLE army of Israel.

Philistine Gen.: feigning fear OOH! I'M SCARED!

Phinehas: And if you look to our right you'll see THE ARK OFCOVENANT which insures our total victory and your toasty defeat.

Philistine Gen.: You would use the Ark of unspeakable power against us? Real fear

Phinehas: Yup!

Hophni: We've got an Ark - and it's the Ark that melted your dear old Dad.

Philistine Gen.: Insolent Dog! I'm going to shove those words down your throat!

Hophni: You and what army?

Philistine Gen.: The enormous Philistine one ... Right over there.

Hophni: OH!

Philistine Gen.: You might have the Ark but we loathe you both and will defy your rule or die in the attempt.

turns and leaves slowlyC
The complete script, plus all 1,600+ other DramaShare scripts, are available at no charge to DramaShare members, non-members may purchase the individual script.