Sucks To Be Me Mrs. Peter

What would it have been like to be married to Simon Peter?

Sucks To Be Me Mrs. Peter takes a fresh and humorous look at one of the most overlooked people in the Gospel story, Peter’s wife. Through wit, warmth, and honest observations, she reflects on life with an impulsive fisherman who suddenly walks away from his career to follow Jesus.

From fish-cleaning frustrations and family concerns to witnessing miracles firsthand, Mrs. Peter shares the challenges, surprises, and blessings of living alongside one of Christ’s most passionate disciples. The result is a delightful monologue that balances laughter with powerful spiritual insight, reminding us that God often works through imperfect people in extraordinary ways.

Cast: 1 female, middle-aged

Bible Reference: Gospels

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: none

Costumes: traditional

Special Instructions: none

Time: 7

Sample of script

actress comes onstage, approaches table, smells something, picks up fish.

Mrs. Peter:
Oy vey!

My husband, the fisherman!

Catches a beautiful fish for my table.

Truly, it’s a fine fish.

Will feed my entire family, more left over for snacks for my children.

I am his dutiful, thankful wife . .

I am pleased, grateful with this wonderful fish that he has brought me.

But does he think maybe he might clean and fillet the fish out there by the water, with the fresh air all around?

No, he does not!

Does he think perhaps the fish cleans itself, bones pop out, scales drop off, all ready for a splash of lemon, spot of cream of tartar?

You ladies, might have noticed . . . men are marvelous creatures . . . mostly . . .

But thinking ahead . . .?

Not so much!

Long-term future planning for men is . . . who will host the weekly Friday night checker game at noon on Wednesday.

looks around, shrugs shoulders

It’s true, I couldn’t make up anything that bizarre!

Seems years ago they had to switch from Friday to Wednesday. But the brain trust in the men’s checker club decided it would be too much work to change the name on the mass mail-outs to the 10 members.

But I regress . . .

Back to this fish . . .

My husband is a fisherman, a fine one for sure.

I once asked my husband, 'Why did you become a fisherman, Shi'mon?

He said, "Because the fish never complain." 
Then he married me.

pause - looks at the audience

See, that’s my husband’s name.

Shi’mon.

Shi’mon bar Yona.

looks around, raises eyebrows

Sorry, you don’t know the language, I can see that.

I shall translate.

Simon, son of Jonah.

pauses, looks in the audience, throws up her hands in disgust

No, not that Jonah, that Jonah was short-term fish food.

Simon’s father was a fisherman too, just like a lot of people in Bethsaida, where Simon grew up.

Everyone had a trade. . . You could pick out what trade a man was in by seeing the symbol they wore.

Like cloth dyers wore colored rags . . makes sense.

Tailors stuck needles in their tunics.

I once received a marriage proposal from a tailor, but I turned it down. I was afraid to get too close to him.

Carpenters they stuck wood chips behind their ears.

I am serious, wood chips behind their ear!

Can’t you just hear the genius who thought that one up?

“Hey guys, let’s us all go around 24/7 with a hunk of wood behind our ear! . . . And for a break you don’t have to wear the wood on the Sabbath!”

Not to be outdone, some long-forgotten fisherman decided all fishermen would hang a fish around their neck. . . During the hot Galilean summers, the fish ripened and were discarded long before the Sabbath rolled around!

Now, I make fun of my Simon . . .
But I love and respect my husband. . . .  Not only a good provider, but a man of God. 

And that's why what happened next changed our lives forever.

One day, when Simon and his brother Andrew were out fishing a man, said to be a prophet, Jesus of Nazareth, came and made them a lifetime offer. . . . And on the spot, they dropped their fish nets and became fishers of men.

Was I concerned when my Simon walked away from his life’s occupation?

Yeahhhhhh!

Fact is, I freaked out!

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