Stand Up

Specially written for a dear friend Elizabeth and her family.

Elizabeth, a witty and confident 9-year-old, takes the stage, assuring her nervous parents that she won’t embarrass them—though her monologue proves otherwise. She jokes about her family, including her stylish mom with questionable hair roots, her “dignified” dad with thinning hair, her diva-like younger sister Avery, and her mischievous little brother Hud (whom she jokingly offers to give away).

Despite the humor, Elizabeth expresses gratitude for her Christian upbringing and her school, Evangelical Christian School (ECS), where she enjoys academics, sports, and faith-based learning. She humorously name-drops notable ECS athletes and admits to having a crush on a basketball player, much to her dad’s dismay.

She also acknowledges her own shyness in sharing her faith but emphasizes the impact of Jesus in people’s lives. The monologue ends with Elizabeth inviting the audience to consider what Jesus can do for them before walking off stage.

Bible Reference: Ephesians 6:4

Cast: 1

Set, Sound, Costumes, Props: standard

Time:  4 minutes

Tone:

• Lighthearted, witty, and engaging.
• Blends comedy with a heartfelt appreciation for faith and family.

Script:

offstage voice

Hey Mom, I mean don’t worry.

I’ll be fine!

pause

No Dad . . . I will not say anything to bring embarrassment to the family!

I am just doing a little stand-up comedy . . .  I mean like, what could possibly go wrong?

Actor comes on stage, shaking head

Dad has this major fear about what I may say . . .

And Mom, last thing she said to me is, “Remember we will have to live in this community long after you are gone!”

Not sure what that means . . . . Does she plan to ship me off somewhere or does she think I am coming down with some awful disease?

Dad said . . . “Just don’t say anything about your brother or sister, OK?”

(pauses, looks around innocently)

I mean, like what could Dad possibly be worried about?

Here I am with a live mic, on stage, several feet from my parents, what could possibly go wrong?

Dad said, “Elizabeth . . .”

See, that’s what Dad calls me . . .  “Elizabeth” . . . He calls me that . . . on accounta . . . like, that’s my name . . . Elizabeth  (add middle name) Hoffert!

Me, I’m just your average, amazingly well-adjusted, brilliant 9-year-old kid.

I already mentioned my parents . . .

My Mom, Shannon, beautiful woman, folks who meet her can’t believe she could be old enough to be the mother of a 9-year-old. . . .

My Mom, that’s where my great looks come from . . .

Rich brown hair . . .

Funny thing though, her hair’s brown but in certain lighting, roots look, I dunno, different.

Yep, my Mom’s a looker.

And my Dad . . . he’s . . . (pauses, looks in the audience) . . . he’s dignified!

Gorgeous black hair! . . . Said his hair used to be wavy . . . Looks to me like some is waving goodbye!

I am the oldest child in the family, and certainly the best looking.

My sister Avery is 6.

Mom calls Avery a diva, a prima donna.

I never heard those words before. . . . So I looked them up . . .

Says: “A self-important person who is temperamental and difficult to please . . .”

Now does that sound anything like my 6-year-old sister Avery? . . .

(pauses, deep in thought)

Nah!!!!

(Disbelieving, makes strange face)

And take my 3-year-old brother, Hud . . . .

(pauses, looks around the audience, anticipating)

No . . . I mean, you take him . . . anyone.  . . . Please take my “all boy” brother Hud!

(giggles)

You all know I am teasing, about my parents and my sister and brother . . .  (thinks) . . . Yep even my little brother! . . . Well, when it come to Hud . .  depends on what I am offered!

I thank God every day for my beautiful family.

All the important areas in my life, my family are there for me.

Want to see how the story unfolds? DramaShare members get this complete script— and access to our entire library—free! Not a member? You can still grab this individual script and bring it to life.