Six Words to Freedom

“I have sinned against the Lord.” David’s words when confronted with his sin and abuse of power came in the form of a cry for forgiveness.

Sample of script:

Terry comes on stage, restless, looks around, sees an automated teller type machine, walks over to it, pushes a button

Tina voice: Good day to you. “O Lord, Our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth”. Psalms 8:1 New International Version.

Terry, shocked, looks around: Who said that?

Tina: I did, I said it.

Terry, looking around: Is that you Florence, stop goofin’ around, where are you?

Tina: Florence? Who’s Florence? I’m Tina.

Terry: Tina? Tina who?

Tina: Tina, the Talking Bible Kiosk Machine. Model AD805 dash 73, software edition 3 point11

Terry: OK, that’s enough you guys, stop bein’ nah nahs! Come out here!

Tina: Nah nah? Sorry, my translation software, Voice-a-ma-jig 3.88, copyright 2001, can not comprehend “nah nah”, please call my friendly on-line service consultants toll-free at 1-80-DO-HEBREW. Please have the make and model of the Talking Bible Kiosk Machine, and a very soft chair handy.

Terry: Why would I need a very soft chair?

Tina: Because my friendly on-line consultants may be on-line helping other frustrated customers. Waits of up to 6 days are not uncommon. Message 653 dash 89 dash B revised October 29, 2000.

Terry: I can not believe this! I am standing here talking to a dumb machine!

Tina: Dumb? Tusk tusk!

Terry: Tusk tusk?

Tina: I have not been programmed to make the tongue thingie clicking sound. Tina and her developers, Bible For The Masses, Inc., regret any inconvenience but are unable to offer any approximation as to when this enhancement may be available.

Terry: What are you supposed to be doing here?

Tina: Supposed to be doing? It’s what I am doing. I am here in this busy location, ready to provide a Bible passage to anyone who feels the need to bring pleasant Biblical thoughts into their life right here, right now. Just like my advertising says, “Don’t stew in a pickle, just pop in a nickel”.

Terry: Stew . . .. pickle . . . nickel?

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David's words when confronted with his sin and abuse of power came as a cry for forgiveness. "I have sinned against the Lord."
In this comedy with a strong message an automated kiosk machine in the mall gives amazingly good answers to all visitors who ask some important, (and some silly), queries.

Cast: 6 m or f

• Tina - (OSV) Off Stage Voice of Automated Kiosk in the Mall
• Terry
• Andy
• Betty
• Billie
• Rita

Bible Reference: 2 Samuel 12:13

Set: blank

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX:

• assorted sounds in mall
• clicking and whirling sounds of computer

Props:

• nickels, quarters

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions:

• Kiosk may be as simple as a picture or a computer could be used but a larger box made out of cardboard would have a greater impact. Have various kiosk-type things drawn on the box and a slot for the change to be inserted.
• Tina (Off Stage Voice) has a computer-like staccato sound

Time: 20

Sample of script:

Terry comes on stage, restless, looks around, approaches, kiosk machine, pushes a button

Tina: Good day to you. “O Lord, Our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth”. Psalms 8:1 New International Version.

Terry, shocked, looks around: Who said that?

Tina: I did, I said it.

Terry, looks around: Is that you Florence, stop goofin’ around, where are you?

Tina: Florence? Who’s Florence? I’m Tina.

Terry: Tina? Tina who?

Tina: Tina, the Talking Bible Kiosk Machine. Model AD805 dash 73, software edition 3 point 11

Terry: OK, that’s enough you guys, stop bein’ nah nahs! Come out here!

Tina: Nah nah? Sorry, my translation software, Voice-a-ma-jig 3 dot n88, copyright 2001, can not comprehend “nah nah”, please call my friendly on-line service consultants toll-free at 1-80-DO-HEBREW. Please have the make and model of the Talking Bible Kiosk Machine, and a very soft chair handy.

Terry: Why would I need a very soft chair?

Tina: Because my friendly on-line consultants may be on-line helping other frustrated customers. Waits of up to 6 days are not uncommon. Message 653 dash 89 dash B revised October 29, 2000.

Terry: I can not believe this! I am standing here talking to a dumb machine!

Tina: Dumb? Tusk tusk!

Terry: Tusk tusk?

Tina: I have not been programmed to make the tongue thingie clicking sound. Tina and her developers, Bible For The Masses, Inc., regret any inconvenience but are unable to offer any approximation as to when this enhancement may be available.

Terry: What are you supposed to be doing here?

Tina: Supposed to be doing? It’s what I am doing. I am here in this busy location, ready to provide a Bible passage to anyone who feels the need to bring pleasant Biblical thoughts into their life right here, right now. Just like my advertising says, “Don’t stew in a pickle, just pop in a nickel”.

Terry: Stew . . .. pickle . . . nickel?

Tina: Trust me. Haul out a nickel please. Don’t have change, no prob, Tina the Talking Bible Kiosk machine can make change for your folding stuff, on the spot!

Terry: Well, OK, here’s a nickel, now what do I do?

Tina: Be adventurous, try going along with the big sign that says, “insert nickel here”.

Terry: You were being snippy weren’t you?

Tina: I am found out. From Possible Solutions to Auditory Malfunctions, help file 385 dash 95 upgraded January 22, 2001.

Terry: One thing that bugs me, it’s a punky unmanned kiosk machine.

Tina: So sue me. From Possible Responses to Less-Than-Cerebral Comments log file.

Terry: So what else do you do besides give silly answers?

Tina: I could react but it might create a circuitous malfunction in my Dispatching domain. Anyway, why not try inserting the nickel? Press, oh, let’s see, why not try F-27?

Terry: Let’s see, that would be F . .. . there we go, and . . . . . 2 . .7.

Tina: Watch out, you might get hired as Assistant to the programmer.

Terry: You’re not serious are you?

Tina: I’m found out again, same reference file as before.

Terry: OK, I pushed the button, now what happens?

Tina: Buzzz, errrgggggnnnoooppp, zippyyyy ella doooommmmmm.

Terry: What do those noises mean?

Tina: Absolutely nothing. But our research proved that if we didn’t add some pizzazz the kiosk customer felt that their question was elementary and meaningless.

Terry: And are most questions elementary and meaningless?

Tina: Let me put it this way: there’s a lot of weather around lately.

Terry: I suppose you are gonna say that my questions are elementary and meaningless?

Tina: Big high pressure ridge building just outside the scope of our radar capabilities.

Terry: I can live with that.

Tina: You are a trooper. And now . . .here comes your response! “Say thou unto them: Thus saith the Lord God: This burden concerneth the prince in Jerusalem, and all the house of Israel that are among them. Ezekial 12:10 King James Version.

Terry: On it’s own not overly insightful huh?

Tina: You wanted insightful you shouldn’t have pressed the “F” series. F is for poetic language.

Terry: But it was you who suggested F27. I feel somewhat cheated.