Salvation4.3

A comedy about a conversation between a computer user and a Help Desk techie.
What if salvation were a software program to be installed on our computers?

Cast: 2 (m or f)

Set: blank set with two desks with computers and a panel in between them. There is a phone on each desk

Lighting, sound, costumes: standard

Sample of script:

the actors are seated at their computers, Laurie dials a number on the phone, phone rings

Kim, picks up phone: Thank you for calling Heavenly Upgrades, my name is Kim, may I have your first and last names please.

Laurie: Laurie. . . Laurie Smith.

Kim: Thank you for your response, you said your name was Laurie Laurie Smith, however we don’t require your middle name for our purposes, may I just call you Laurie Smith?

Laurie: Yes, well that is my name, Laurie Smith.

Kim: Thank you for your response, but you actually said that your name was Laurie Laurie Smith.

Laurie: No, you don’t understand, I said my name was Laurie Smith.

Kim: Thank you for your response, but I do have your initial response on tape. You were informed by a Heavenly Upgrades Help Desk professional at the outset that our conversation may be taped for quality and training purposes, or for correcting the customer when they deny making statements, as you just did. . . . Now then Laurie, (sickeningly helpful), . . how may I assist you?

Laurie: I just downloaded your latest program, “Salvation4.3”.

Kim: Thank you for your response, I . . .

Laurie: Do you realize how annoying that is?

Kim: Thank you for your response, but whatever are you speaking about?

Laurie: I am speaking about that irritating “Thank you for your response” thingie that you say every time you speak!

Kim, annoyed: Well, thank you for your response, but having to say that 6,436 times on average in every 8 hour shift is no walk in the park for me either you know!

What if salvation were a software program to be installed on our computers?
A popular comedy about a conversation between a computer user and a Help Desk techie.

Cast: 2 m or f

• Kim, techie at Help Desk
• Laurie, customer

Bible Reference: Acts 4:12

Set:

• bare set with 2 desks and chairs and a divider between, to indicate different locations

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props:

• phone or cell on each desk

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 5

Sample of script:

actors are seated at their computers, Laurie dials a number on the phone, phone rings

Kim, picks up phone: Thank you for calling Heavenly Upgrades, my name is Kim, may I have your first and last names please.

Laurie: Laurie. . . Laurie Smith.

Kim: Thank you for your response, you said your name was Laurie Laurie Smith, however we don’t require your middle name for our purposes, may I just call you Laurie Smith?

Laurie: Yes, well that is my name, Laurie Smith.

Kim: Thank you for your response, but you actually said that your name was Laurie Laurie Smith.

Laurie: No, you don’t understand, I said my name was Laurie Smith.

Kim: Thank you for your response, but I do have your initial response on tape. You were informed by a Heavenly Upgrades Help Desk professional at the outset that our conversation may be taped for quality and training purposes, or for correcting the customer when they deny making statements, as you just did. . . . Now then Laurie, (sickeningly helpful), . . how may I assist you?

Laurie: I just downloaded your latest program, “Salvation4.3”.

Kim: Thank you for your response, I . . .

Laurie: Do you realize how annoying that is?

Kim: Thank you for your response, but whatever are you speaking about?

Laurie: I am speaking about that irritating “Thank you for your response” thingie that you say every time you speak!

Kim, annoyed: Well, thank you for your response, but having to say that 6,436 times on average in every 8 hour shift is no walk in the park for me either you know!