Ridgeland Rocks

A fun skit about the people and situations in a church, can be modified to meet individual characteristics of pastors, geographical areas, etc.
Ridgeland church is planning to build a new church and they want to get the congregation excited about the new church building program.

Cast: 5 (m or f. Narrators can be on or off stage)
Narrator 1
Narrator 2
Pastor Ken
Pastor John
Pastor Ed

Set: blank

Lighting, sound, costumes: standard

Props: tool belt, Bible, camera

Sample of script:

Narrator1: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to yet another episode of “Ridgeland Rocks”, the program that asks the tough questions . . . . like “why does Pastor Ed continue to support Oakland sports teams, even though they are perennial clear-cut winners of the Ridgeland Ultra Ultra Underachievers Award of Un-Merited Prudence.” And when will anyone figure out what that means?

Narrator 2: Or the pressing question: “When will the state levy a punitive tax on Brother John’s camera extravagance?”

Narrator 1: Our congressman was quoted as saying that even a minimal tax on Brother John’s film, batteries and clothing expenses could result in the national debt being eliminated in . . . . . well, never, actually.

Narrator 2: So now, as we ponder the view of the beautiful Rocky Mountains out our sanctuary window, Narrator1 will take us on a sentimental drive through the thoughts and dreams of Pastor Ed’s most innermost mind. It’s all yours Narrator1! (pause) Narrator1! (pause) Narrator1, wake up!

Narrator1: Oh, sorry about that! Guess Pastor Ed’s driving kinda put me to sleep. If its all the same with you, you guys go on a drive with pastor Ed, I’ll just sit here and stare at the Rocky Mountains, they seem to move faster.

Narrator2: Look, we all have to take our turn when it comes to burdens, and yours is driving with Pastor Ed!

Narrator1: Ohhhhh man! Why me? How come Pastor Ken can’t ride with Pastor Ed?

Narrator2: Well, that was our initial plan but it didn’t work.

Narrator1: No? Why, pray tell.

Narrator2: Well, we could only think of two good points about Pastor Ed’s car, and you know full well that . . .

Narrator1: . . . .I got yah! Pastor Ken don’t go nowhere unless cars and sermons have three points!

Narrator2: Right you are! Besides, where would the collie dogs sit in the car?

Narrator1: Truth be known our first thought was to harness Pastor Ken’s collie dogs and have them pull Pastor Ed’s car, thought we could make much better time.

Narrator2: “First thought?” My first guess is that didn’t work out. And my second guess is you are gonna tell us all why it didn’t work out, am I close?

Narrator1: You are hotter than Pastor Ken’s sleep pattern! The reason it didn’t work out was Pastor Ken had the tension set too high on his exercise bike.

Narrator2: Tusk! Tusk! is all I can say to that one! But speaking of things irrelevant, what is the theme of our “Ridgeland Rocks” presentation tonight, oh all-knowing one?

Narrator1: Strange how you should ask such a pertinent question at such a ground-breaker time!

Narrator2: It’s a gift!

Narrator1: Tonight we pay a visit to the set of Ridgeland’s popular romantic comedy television show, “Tool-Time North”. And here he is, Ridgeland’s answer to Tim the Toolman Taylor, our very own, and let’s hear it for him, Ken the Senior Pastor! Yeah, yeah!

Ken, enters, reading a book): Amazing the stuff they have in this book!

John, enters, snapping pictures: “Amazing”, you say? Let me . . . picture . . this! Get it, “picture” this . . .

Ken: Yes, Brother John, I do get it, worse I picture it. Try as I will not to picture it, still I do.

John: That was likely your world renowned dry humor coming through is my guess?

Ken: How does he do it?

John: I will chose to ignore that, after all, some have dry sense of humor, others of us swim, ski or are snappy dressers.

Ken: Are you saying I’m not a snappy dresser?

John: Did you see the sunset over the mountains last night?

Ken: I’ll take that as a “no” to the snappy dresser question.

John: What ever is that you are reading Pastor Ken?

Ken: Smooth! And I happen to have in my hands a mint condition copy of “How to Bring About Building Expansion in the Loving Church in the (name of county), A Church Which Is Blessed With a Great Christian Education Department, A Very Loving And Caring Congregation, A Good Combination of Both Traditional and Praise Music, A Strong Youth Program, A Huge Wedding Program, Strong Pastoral Team With Strong Preaching And Is Friendly, Affluent, Spirit Filled, Compassionate, Energetic, Tender, Active, Community and Family Oriented, and Which Is Located In (name of the city and state). Updated and Abridged Version, brought to you by Binford Power Ministries”.

John: I don’t understand . . .

Ken: Nor could you, silly, that’s why I bought the book.

John: No, I mean, I don’t know how they could get a title that long on the front cover.

Ken: Didn’t actually. Front cover just says, “Look Inside”.

The complete script, plus all 1,600+ other DramaShare scripts, are available at no charge to DramaShare members, non-members may purchase the individual script.

A fun skit about the people and situations in a church, can be modified to meet individual characteristics of pastors, geographical areas, etc.
Ridgeland church is planning to build a new church and they want to get the congregation excited about the new church building program.

Cast: 5 (m or f. Narrators can be on or off stage)
Narrator 1
Narrator 2
Pastor Ken
Pastor John
Pastor Ed

Set: blank

Lighting, sound, costumes: standard

Props: tool belt, Bible, camera

Sample of script:

Narrator1: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to yet another episode of “Ridgeland Rocks”, the program that asks the tough questions . . . . like “why does Pastor Ed continue to support Oakland sports teams, even though they are perennial clear-cut winners of the Ridgeland Ultra Ultra Underachievers Award of Un-Merited Prudence.” And when will anyone figure out what that means?

Narrator 2: Or the pressing question: “When will the state levy a punitive tax on Brother John’s camera extravagance?”

Narrator 1: Our congressman was quoted as saying that even a minimal tax on Brother John’s film, batteries and clothing expenses could result in the national debt being eliminated in . . . . . well, never, actually.

Narrator 2: So now, as we ponder the view of the beautiful Rocky Mountains out our sanctuary window, Narrator1 will take us on a sentimental drive through the thoughts and dreams of Pastor Ed’s most innermost mind. It’s all yours Narrator1! (pause) Narrator1! (pause) Narrator1, wake up!

Narrator1: Oh, sorry about that! Guess Pastor Ed’s driving kinda put me to sleep. If its all the same with you, you guys go on a drive with pastor Ed, I’ll just sit here and stare at the Rocky Mountains, they seem to move faster.

Narrator2: Look, we all have to take our turn when it comes to burdens, and yours is driving with Pastor Ed!

Narrator1: Ohhhhh man! Why me? How come Pastor Ken can’t ride with Pastor Ed?

Narrator2: Well, that was our initial plan but it didn’t work.

Narrator1: No? Why, pray tell.

Narrator2: Well, we could only think of two good points about Pastor Ed’s car, and you know full well that . . .

Narrator1: . . . .I got yah! Pastor Ken don’t go nowhere unless cars and sermons have three points!

Narrator2: Right you are! Besides, where would the collie dogs sit in the car?

Narrator1: Truth be known our first thought was to harness Pastor Ken’s collie dogs and have them pull Pastor Ed’s car, thought we could make much better time.

Narrator2: “First thought?” My first guess is that didn’t work out. And my second guess is you are gonna tell us all why it didn’t work out, am I close?

Narrator1: You are hotter than Pastor Ken’s sleep pattern! The reason it didn’t work out was Pastor Ken had the tension set too high on his exercise bike.

Narrator2: Tusk! Tusk! is all I can say to that one! But speaking of things irrelevant, what is the theme of our “Ridgeland Rocks” presentation tonight, oh all-knowing one?

Narrator1: Strange how you should ask such a pertinent question at such a ground-breaker time!

Narrator2: It’s a gift!

Narrator1: Tonight we pay a visit to the set of Ridgeland’s popular romantic comedy television show, “Tool-Time North”. And here he is, Ridgeland’s answer to Tim the Toolman Taylor, our very own, and let’s hear it for him, Ken the Senior Pastor! Yeah, yeah!

Ken, enters, reading a book): Amazing the stuff they have in this book!

John, enters, snapping pictures: “Amazing”, you say? Let me . . . picture . . this! Get it, “picture” this . . .

Ken: Yes, Brother John, I do get it, worse I picture it. Try as I will not to picture it, still I do.

John: That was likely your world renowned dry humor coming through is my guess?

Ken: How does he do it?

John: I will chose to ignore that, after all, some have dry sense of humor, others of us swim, ski or are snappy dressers.

Ken: Are you saying I’m not a snappy dresser?

John: Did you see the sunset over the mountains last night?

Ken: I’ll take that as a “no” to the snappy dresser question.

John: What ever is that you are reading Pastor Ken?

Ken: Smooth! And I happen to have in my hands a mint condition copy of “How to Bring About Building Expansion in the Loving Church in the (name of county), A Church Which Is Blessed With a Great Christian Education Department, A Very Loving And Caring Congregation, A Good Combination of Both Traditional and Praise Music, A Strong Youth Program, A Huge Wedding Program, Strong Pastoral Team With Strong Preaching And Is Friendly, Affluent, Spirit Filled, Compassionate, Energetic, Tender, Active, Community and Family Oriented, and Which Is Located In (name of the city and state). Updated and Abridged Version, brought to you by Binford Power Ministries”.

John: I don’t understand . . .

Ken: Nor could you, silly, that’s why I bought the book.

John: No, I mean, I don’t know how they could get a title that long on the front cover.

Ken: Didn’t actually. Front cover just says, “Look Inside”.

The complete script, plus all 1,600+ other DramaShare scripts, are available at no charge to DramaShare members, non-members may purchase the individual script.