Pitching Camp

Pitching camp—not as in setting up a tent (though there's some of that too), but in selling the idea of young kids going on church camping adventures!

This comedy dinner theatre script is all about pitching (or promoting) the excitement of summer church camps—where kids can have fun, explore the great outdoors, connect with nature, and, most importantly, experience the wonder of God's creation alongside their peers.

The script is flat-out silly, full of laughs, and makes a strong case for why every child should experience Christian camping. It also encourages church and community families to support kids who need financial assistance to attend. And let’s not forget the leaders—because every great camp needs willing volunteers! So, who's ready to step up for Campland?

This drama is mostly about fun, but it carries a heartfelt message—kids growing in faith, surrounded by joy, in a setting that even gets the audience involved. Plus, it features original lyrics for an extra touch of campfire magic!

 Cast:    7 late teen - middle age

• Bill (likely male)
• Ralph (likely male)
• Alice (likely female)
• Laura (likely female)
• Terry m or f
• Dawn m or f
• Tony m or f

Bible Reference:  Matthew 19:14

Set:  bare

Lighting:   standard

Sound:  wireless mics if available

Song:  improv lyrics to old songs

• Clementine
• Mother (as in "M is for the many . . .  O means only . .  etc)
• The Rainbow Connection
• I've Been Working On The Railroad
• Rubber Ducky
• general hiphop (tune doesn't matter)

SFX: none

Costumes:  camping gear

Props: 

• office chair on wheels
• 2 brooms
• canoe (or something made to look like a canoe)

Special Instructions:   none

Time:  60

Pitching Camp – Sample Script

(Bill and Laura enter the stage.)

Bill:
OK, this looks like as good a place as any to pitch camp.

(Laura, Terry, and Dawn struggle onto the stage, their arms overloaded with camping gear and a canoe.)

Laura:
I should hope so! Carrying all this equipment uphill for eight miles has just about done me in!

(Ralph enters—empty-handed.)

Ralph: (nodding)
You are so right, Laura! I was starting to wonder if I’d have to take a break in the last mile or two myself.

(Alice, Tracy, and Tony crawl onto the stage, exhausted, carrying oversized backpacks.)

Alice: (gasping)
I... can... not... go... one... step... further!

Bill:
Guys, guys, guys! We’re all in the same boat here—so to speak. We’re all tired! We’ve all worked really hard to get here. Believe it or not, I’m tired too… it’s just that my superior conditioning has made a big difference.

Terry:
That, and the fact that you carried nothing!

Bill: (grinning)
Terry, surely you realize the heavy weight of leadership.

Terry: (grumbling)
I’d gladly trade the weight of your leadership for the weight of this canoe! I thought canoes were meant to ride in—not carry!

Ralph:
Portages are a fact of life—no way around it.

Dawn:
Another fact of life seems to be that some of us do all the work!

Ralph: (offended)
Now that hurts! Here Bill and I are—testing the trails, charting the course, finding the flow, plotting the path...

Tracy: (smirking)
…Ducking the duties?

Ralph: (clutching his chest dramatically)
Now that purely hurts!

Bill:
You guys just need to see the big picture here!

Tony: (grumbling under his breath)
Hard to see the big picture with a canoe over my head!

Bill:
You just wait! When camp is all set up and running, you’ll see—it’ll be worth every bit of inconvenience!

Laura: (sighing)
You’re right, Bill. It will be worth it, won’t it?

Ralph: (gesturing toward a table of audience members)
I can see it all now! Right over there! That’s where the canoe shack will be!

(Bill walks over near the table, surveying the area.)

Bill:
Over here, you mean?

Ralph:
A little further.

(Bill hesitates, then whispers to Ralph while pointing to the table.)

Bill: (whispering)
Uhhh... don’t look now, but... there’s someone sitting in the canoe shack!

Ralph:
In the canoe shack?! How can there be someone in the canoe shack when we haven’t even built the canoe shack yet?!

Bill:
Don’t ask me! Look for yourself!

(Ralph approaches the table and stares directly at Person A, selecting a prepared audience member for interaction.)

Ralph: (to Person A)
Madam, may I ask exactly what you are doing here?

(Actors must be prepared to improvise based on Person A’s reaction.)

Ralph: (persisting)
Yes, madam, I am speaking to you. I asked a question—if you would be so kind as to answer. Now then, my partners and I are attempting to pitch camp here. Sorry, but you cannot simply move into our canoe shack and take up residence!

(Terry steps in to rescue Person A.)

Terry:
Oh, Ralph, don’t be unkind. This poor person likely didn’t know any better. For all we know, she may be from Scoudoc! (or insert a local town for humor)

Bill:
Well, you do have a point there. I mean, we can’t expect too much from anyone from Scoudoc.

Dawn:
Exactly! I mean, once I met a person from Scoudoc who actually knew what they were doing… shocked me some, I’m here to tell you!

Ralph: (to Person A)
Are you from Scoudoc, madam?

(Actors should be prepared to improvise based on Person A’s response.)

Bill: (to Ralph)
She says she isn’t from Scoudoc.

Ralph:
Well, did you expect anyone to admit they’re from Scoudoc?!

Tracy:
You’ve got a good point there…

Tony:
…Especially sitting right in the middle of our canoe shack!

Bill: (dramatic sigh)
Embarrassing, that’s what it is! (pats Person A on the head) Don’t you worry, lady—your secret is safe with us. No way we’re gonna tell anyone you’re from Scoudoc.

(Bill walks behind Person A, dramatically miming to the audience—pointing at Person A and mouthing "She’s from Scoudoc!"—then bursting into exaggerated laughter.)

Ralph:
You know, there is one good thing about living in Scoudoc.

Alice:
Really? What’s that?

Ralph:
Not sure. The mayor of Scoudoc once told me there was one good thing about living there… but he couldn’t remember what it was.

Terry:
That’s not a very nice thing to say about the people of Scoudoc! You might hurt their feelings.

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