Pastor Job Application

This guy is applying to be the pastor at our church and his credentials, background and job experience are, well, . . you decide, OKTongue in cheek look at the ministry of Paul

Cast: 2
Paul, middle age man
Board chairperson (BC) m or f (may be onstage or an offstage voice)

Costumes: Paul is dressed in work clothes
If BC is onstage likely is wearing business clothing

Props: backpack

Sample of script:

Paul comes on stage carrying backpack, looks around, after a few seconds offstage voice is heard

BC: Hello, may I help you?

Paul: Likely it would be I who is helping you, however . .

BC, annoyed: What are you selling sir?

Paul: “Selling”? . . . Can’t say I am “selling” anything . .

BC: Don’t bother telling me that “doing a survey” hoax, I have heard every pitch, I know every angle you guys try. . . . Now, look, I am busy, just what do you have to offer?

Paul: “Offer”?

BC, tiring: What are you peddling sir?

Paul: Well I do have a good line of tents, . . . but that’s not why I am here .. .

BC: That would be wise, I am not the outdoorsy camper type.

Paul: Too bad, you might find that you like being outside, communing with God and nature . . .

BC: Sorry, I am very busy . . now start talking or I start walking . . What are you here for?

Paul: I heard you are looking for a senior pastor . . .

BC: Yes, yes as a matter of fact we are, however we don’t go through head hunters, sorry.

Paul, confused: “Head hunters”?

BC: Employment agencies. . . We at Damascus Road Community Church prefer to deal directly with the candidate.

Paul: “Candidate”?

BC, losing patience: The person who is looking for the position!

Paul: Well that’s me, I am here for the job.

BC, wrinkles nose, looks at Paul, strange: You are a pastor?

Paul: Oh my yes, many years, many churches.

BC: We too have felt the impact of contemporary worship services, but, might I say that we normally expect a pastoral candidate to dress up a bit.

Paul: “Pastoral candidate”? . . . That would be the guy looking for the job, right? . . As in me?

BC: Fine then, we normally interview by appointment only however, since you are here . . .

Paul, holds up backpack: I have come to start right away, brought all my worldly belongings . .

BC, smiles: That may be somewhat premature. . .

Paul: As soon as I heard about you looking for a pastor I knew I would be the perfect answer to your prayers.

BC, sarcastic: The answer to the prayers of Damascus Road Community Church? . . I suggest that may be somewhat presumptuous on your part . .

Paul: The name of your church is Damascus Road, am I right?

BC: Yes it is, but I don’t see what that . .

Paul: I met Jesus on Damascus Road.

BC: You were saved on Damascus Road?

Paul, happy: Blinded me, knocked me to my knees!

BC: A Pentecostal I assume . . . Regardless . . as church board chairperson I have some questions. . . Firstly what is your take on the four spiritual laws?

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Pastor Paul is applying to be the pastor of a church.
His credentials, background and job experience are being checked over by the Board Chairperson (BC), and, well, you decide, OK. . . Tongue in cheek look at the ministry of Paul

Cast: 2

• Paul, middle age man
• Board chairperson (BC) m or f (may be onstage or an offstage voice)

Bible Reference: Acts

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: backpack

Costumes:

• Paul is dressed in work clothes
• If BC is onstage likely is wearing business clothing

Special Instructions: none

Time: 10

Sample of script:

Paul comes on stage carrying backpack, looks around, after a few seconds offstage voice is heard

BC: Hello, may I help you?

Paul: Likely it would be I who is helping you, however . .

BC, annoyed: What are you selling sir?

Paul: “Selling”? . . . Can’t say I am “selling” anything . .

BC: Don’t bother telling me that “doing a survey” hoax, I have heard every pitch, I know every angle you guys try. . . . Now, look, I am busy, just what do you have to offer?

Paul: “Offer”?

BC, tiring: What are you peddling sir?

Paul: Well I do have a good line of tents, . . . but that’s not why I am here .. .

BC: That would be wise, I am not the outdoorsy camper type.

Paul: Too bad, you might find that you like being outside, communing with God and nature . . .

BC: Sorry, I am very busy . . now start talking or I start walking . . What are you here for?

Paul: I heard you are looking for a senior pastor . . .

BC: Yes, yes as a matter of fact we are, however we don’t go through head hunters, sorry.

Paul, confused: “Head hunters”?

BC: Employment agencies. . . We at Damascus Road Community Church prefer to deal directly with the candidate.

Paul: “Candidate”?

BC, losing patience: The person who is looking for the position!

Paul: Well that’s me, I am here for the job.

BC, wrinkles nose, looks at Paul, strange: You are a pastor?

Paul: Oh my yes, many years, many churches.

BC: We too have felt the impact of contemporary worship services, but, might I say that we normally expect a pastoral candidate to dress up a bit.

Paul: “Pastoral candidate”? . . . That would be the guy looking for the job, right? . . As in me?

BC: Fine then, we normally interview by appointment only however, since you are here . . .

Paul, holds up backpack: I have come to start right away, brought all my worldly belongings . .

BC, smiles: That may be somewhat premature. . .

Paul: As soon as I heard about you looking for a pastor I knew I would be the perfect answer to your prayers.

BC, sarcastic: The answer to the prayers of Damascus Road Community Church? . . I suggest that may be somewhat presumptuous on your part . .

Paul: The name of your church is Damascus Road, am I right?

BC: Yes it is, but I don’t see what that . .

Paul: I met Jesus on Damascus Road.

BC: You were saved on Damascus Road?

Paul, happy: Blinded me, knocked me to my knees!

BC: A Pentecostal I assume . . . Regardless . . as church board chairperson I have some questions. . . Firstly what is your take on the four spiritual laws?