Parable of the Car Racers

The parable of the ten wise and foolish virgins was never quite like this!
It is race day and the race car drivers are ready to go, until the rain forces a delay. It seemed like a good idea at the time to warm up in their race cars . . but . . .
Easily staged comedy.

Cast: 4 (m or f) plus offstage voice

Set: blank with 3 chairs

Sound: sound effect of car passing by

Costumes: car racing apparel

Props: large sign with “ALONG ABOUT MIDNIGHT” printed

Sample of script:

actors are sitting around, chatting

Ernie: So all I could do was fill the mirrors of the guy ahead of me.

Nickie: Sad that Ernie, didn’t the guy ahead of you have decent wheels so’s to get outta your way?

Ernie: Oh like he had a fully rigged bowtie.

Nickie: Well then, no reason why the dude couldn’t motor, like you say, drivin’ a Chevy and all. . . And these guys call themselves car racers! . . I tell ya!

Gloria: This waitin’ around the track is messin’ up my mind I tell ya!

Ernie: What you plan on doin’ about it Gloria? . . Track officials say the track in too wet to race, all us drivers can do is sit and wait ‘til the big boys say we can hit the bricks.

Nickie, laughs: Yeh, sit and wait . . . and tell lies about what great racers we are, all the Formula 1 races we won!

Gloria: Where at are the rest of our crew . . Stevens and Anderson?

Ernie: They went over to the canteen to sop up some Joe and digest some pig roll-ups.

Gloria: Wish I had known they was goin’. I for sure could’a done with a coffee and a hot dog my own self.

Ernie: Well, thing is we best not be getting’ too far from our cars, I mean when the track officials say it’s time to put the pedal to the metal, we all have to scoot.

Nickie, shivers: Brrrrrr, it for sure is turnin’ cold, all this rain and all.

Gloria: Is for a fact, I am getting’ all wet out here in the rain. . . I got a good mind to crawl into my car, keep warm and dry.

Ernie: Dry for sure, but it’s not gonna be no warmer in the car than out here, ain’t no heater in our race cars.

Gloria: No problem with that man, just havin’ the engine revved up will generate a ton of heat.

Nickie: Sounds like a good plan Gloria, think I’m gonna do the same.

Ernie: Hold up you guys, we just only got so much fuel remember . . and if we use it up now we might not have enough for the race by the time the Race Marshall comes along.

Gloria: What you jawin’ about Ernie? . . Why we have enough and to spare, negative perspiration!

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The parable of the ten wise and foolish virgins was never quite like this!
It is race day and the race car drivers are ready to go, until the rain forces a delay. It seemed like a good idea at the time to warm up in their race cars . . but . . .
Easily staged comedy.

Cast: 4

• Ernie
• Nickie
• Gloria
• OSV Offstage Voice

Bible Reference: Matthew 25:1-13

Set:

• blank with 3 chairs

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX:

• car racing sounds

Props: none

Costumes:

• car racing apparel

Special Instructions:

• large sign with “ALONG ABOUT MIDNIGHT” printed

Time: 7

Sample of script:

actors are sitting around, chatting

Ernie: So all I could do was fill the mirrors of the guy ahead of me.

Nickie: Sad that Ernie, didn’t the guy ahead of you have decent wheels so’s to get outta your way?

Ernie: Oh like he had a fully rigged bowtie.

Nickie: Well then, no reason why the dude couldn’t motor, like you say, drivin’ a Chevy and all. . . And these guys call themselves car racers! . . I tell ya!

Gloria: This waitin’ around the track is messin’ up my mind I tell ya!

Ernie: What you plan on doin’ about it Gloria? . . Track officials say the track in too wet to race, all us drivers can do is sit and wait ‘til the big boys say we can hit the bricks.

Nickie, laughs: Yeh, sit and wait . . . and tell lies about what great racers we are, all the Formula 1 races we won!

Gloria: Where at are the rest of our crew . . Stevens and Anderson?

Ernie: They went over to the canteen to sop up some Joe and digest some pig roll-ups.

Gloria: Wish I had known they was goin’. I for sure could’a done with a coffee and a hot dog my own self.

Ernie: Well, thing is we best not be getting’ too far from our cars, I mean when the track officials say it’s time to put the pedal to the metal, we all have to scoot.

Nickie, shivers: Brrrrrr, it for sure is turnin’ cold, all this rain and all.

Gloria: Is for a fact, I am getting’ all wet out here in the rain. . . I got a good mind to crawl into my car, keep warm and dry.

Ernie: Dry for sure, but it’s not gonna be no warmer in the car than out here, ain’t no heater in our race cars.

Gloria: No problem with that man, just havin’ the engine revved up will generate a ton of heat.

Nickie: Sounds like a good plan Gloria, think I’m gonna do the same.

Ernie: Hold up you guys, we just only got so much fuel remember . . and if we use it up now we might not have enough for the race by the time the Race Marshall comes along.

Gloria: What you jawin’ about Ernie? . . Why we have enough and to spare, negative perspiration!

Ernie: Easy for you to say now, but fact each of the five of us on our team only got like extra 5 gallons of gas beyond what we will likely need to run the race.

Gloria: Figure that out will ya Ernie! . . That‟s like an extra 25 gallons of gas that we don‟t never use at any race . . so no problem-o!

Gloria gets in her car (sits in a chair), mimes starting the car, starts warming up

Gloria: Man this is some better! . . Nice and toasty warm . . What you waitin' for you two, climb on in to your cars.

Nickie, gets in his car: Hey this is nice and warm, come on in Ernie m'boy! . . The water‟s fine!

Ernie: We need to be sure that when the Race Marshall comes and starts the race that we have enough gas.