Non- Returnable Gift

A shopper tries unsuccesfully to return a gift. You have been given a gift. This gift does not cost you anything, you can never loose it, and it always fits. This gift have been given to you at a great cost to someone else. The choice is yours on how you use it.

Key words:  gift  non-returnable  price

Cast:  This drama is a monologue, which can involve either a male or a female actor.

Set, Costume:      

No set or props necessary, and actor should be in everyday clothing.

Sound:

The actor should be wearing a lapel microphone, if available.

Run-Time: 2-3 minutes

Sample Script

Scene opens as actor enters stage.  The actor, obviously frustrated, begins speaking as soon as she steps on the stage

Actor: Well, that’s it!  I have never been so upset!  Imagine!  Some store clerk tells me , ‘Oh, no, ma’am, that gift is non-returnable.’  Non-returnable?  What kind of a gift is non-returnable?  What sort of a policy is that?

I went back to the exact store I was told it came from, and yet they still say I can’t return it.  The nerve!  I didn’t really ask for this gift, it was just given to me.  I tried to be fair with the clerk – I said just let me exchange it, then for something of equal value.  He looked at me, almost hurt, and said that there was nothing else that could compare to this gift in value.

I am so frustrated!  I threatened I would go to the competition, but he told me that their’s was the only place this gift is available.  I then told him to just apply the credit to my account, but he told me that credit had been put on my account already, years ago!

This gift was turning into a bigger deal than I had planned.  Then, finally, we agreed on something. . . .

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