Missions Mash

Some down home folks are off to missions in Mexico, well, if that can get things figured out they will be. Celebrating missions, preparing well, understanding the need, using sensitivity.

Sample of script:

Abraham: Hellllllllloooooooooooo y’all! Anybody ta home? Don’t seem ta find nobody around these here parts. Where at are y’all?

Tracy: Did I hear someone calling? Oh, hello there, may I help you please?

Abraham: Y’all sure ‘nuff kin I reckon. Me, I’m a-lookin fer ta find Rancho Betanchovies.

Tracy: Well, as you can see if you look around sir, we don’t have any Ranchos, and as for anchovies, well . . .

Abraham: Bet . . . . anchovies! Bet . . . anchovies!

Tracy: Well, we are Christians, so we have nothing whatsoever to do with gambling . . . .

Abraham: Betanchovies why it’s got nuthin ta do with gambling, doncha see . . . . .

Billy: Hi, Tracy, how are you, who is your friend?

Tracy: Hi Billy, this here is . . . I’m not real sure, but he is looking for the casino.

Billy: Casino? What are you talking about, Tracy? There’s no casino around here. And you sir, just exactly why are you wanting to gamble, don’t you understand that gambling isn’t very . . . . .

Abraham: I’m not talkin’ gamblin’, I just said, “Betanchovies . . . . . . . .”

Billy: Oh, sure! Start off betting small, peanuts, anchovies, first thing you know . . . well, just awful, that’s what!

Tracy: My friend’s neighbor lost his house in a card game, better watch it!

Abraham: No, ya don’t understand, I’m a-talkin’ missions, Mexico . . .

Billy: Now, that’s one thing we do know all about, our church is very involved in Mexico, yes and in mission activities.

Tracy: Exactly, and I will have you know, Mr . . . .Mr. . . . . . sorry, what was your name Mr. . . . . . Gambler?

Abraham: Abraham.

Tracy & Billy, together: Abraham?

Abraham: Yeppers, that there’s my name all right.

Tracy: How dare you have a name like Abraham, straight out of the Bible?

Helen: comes on stage: You are out of the Bible? Must have been a tight fit. . . .Get it . . outta the Bible . . . tight fit . . .get it?

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Some down home folks are off to missions in Mexico.
Well, if that can get things figured out they will be. Celebrating missions, preparing well, understanding the need, using sensitivity.

Cast: 6+

• Abraham
• Tracy
• Bill
• Mary
• Helen
• Stan
• (optional) any number of non-speaking roles

Bible Reference: Matthew 9:37-38

Set: standard

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song: none

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props: none

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 9

Sample of script:

Abraham: Hellllllllloooooooooooo y’all! Anybody ta home? Don’t seem ta find nobody around these here parts. Where at are y’all?

Tracy: Did I hear someone calling? Oh, hello there, may I help you please?

Abraham: Y’all sure ‘nuff kin I reckon. Me, I’m a-lookin fer ta find Rancho Betanchovies.

Tracy: Well, as you can see if you look around sir, we don’t have any Ranchos, and as for anchovies, well . . .

Abraham: Bet . . . . anchovies! Bet . . . anchovies!

Tracy: Well, we are Christians, so we have nothing whatsoever to do with gambling . . . .

Abraham: Betanchovies why it’s got nuthin ta do with gambling, doncha see . . . . .

Billy: Hi, Tracy, how are you, who is your friend?

Tracy: Hi Billy, this here is . . . I’m not real sure, but he is looking for the casino.

Billy: Casino? What are you talking about, Tracy? There’s no casino around here. And you sir, just exactly why are you wanting to gamble, don’t you understand that gambling isn’t very . . . . .

Abraham: I’m not talkin’ gamblin’, I just said, “Betanchovies . . . . . . . .”

Billy: Oh, sure! Start off betting small, peanuts, anchovies, first thing you know . . . well, just awful, that’s what!

Tracy: My friend’s neighbor lost his house in a card game, better watch it!

Abraham: No, ya don’t understand, I’m a-talkin’ missions, Mexico . . .

Billy: Now, that’s one thing we do know all about, our church is very involved in Mexico, yes and in mission activities.

Tracy: Exactly, and I will have you know, Mr . . . .Mr. . . . . . sorry, what was your name Mr. . . . . . Gambler?

Abraham: Abraham.

Tracy & Billy, together: Abraham?

Abraham: Yeppers, that there’s my name all right.

Tracy: How dare you have a name like Abraham, straight out of the Bible?

Helen: comes on stage: You are out of the Bible? Must have been a tight fit. . . .Get it . . outta the Bible . . . tight fit . . .get it?

Billy: Yes, Helen, unfortunately I do get it. And as for this gentleman, and I use the term loosely . . . he, I will have you know, is a gambler!

Mary: comes on stage: A gambler from the Bible? That would make your name Noah, definitely not Abraham.

Tracy: So, anyhow, Mr. Abraham, I want you to understand something about . . . . (pauses, looks at Mary), what do you mean that would make his name Noah?

Mary: Think people . . .think! Did he, or did he not say he was from the Bible?

Billy: Actually no, it was Tracy who said he was from the Bible.

Mary: Well, there you go, in that case his name is Ruth.

Abraham: Say whoa there y’all! I ain’t no Noah, but shore as shootin’ I sure nuff ain’t no wimmen folk, no way, uh uh, noppers, no way ever not!

Mary: Very well, as you wish, but I am convinced you are truly . . .

Abraham: Don’t never you never go there, K?

Mary: As you wish Ruth.

Abraham: I said . . . .

Helen: So if not Ruth or Noah, what is your name cowboy?