Have I Got A Pill For You

What if every problem in life could be solved with just one more pill?

Presented as a fast-paced, over-the-top game show, Have I Got A Pill For You uses humor to explore our culture's search for quick fixes. As enthusiastic host Rance Head promises miracle cures for every ache, worry, and inconvenience, one skeptical audience member dares to ask the questions everyone else is thinking.

Filled with laugh-out-loud moments, exaggerated game-show antics, and memorable characters, this entertaining skit gently challenges audiences to look beyond easy answers and consider God's design for genuine health, wisdom, and balanced living. It's a fun conversation starter that blends comedy with an important message, making it a great fit for worship services, health-themed events, or any program where faith and everyday life intersect.

Bible Reference:

• Ephesians 3

Cast:

• 4 actors (male or female)
• Off-Stage Narrator (N) – oily, slick, disgusting voice
• Rance Head – game show host
• Flora
• Jody

Set:

• Blank

Props:

• A very large pill (dog biscuit or larger)
• A large box

Sound Effects:

• Loud game show theme song 
• Applause sound clip
• Taped clip of many voices: “What be ailing you?”
• Taped clip of many voices: “Have we got a pill for you!”

Lighting:

• Standard

Time:

• 7 minutes

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Sample Script
Download sample script

lights up, loud game show music on, narrator speaks

N: And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, IWFYB Pharmaceuticals is pleased to present, the almost famous game show . . . Have I Got A Pill For You . . .

wild applause on tape

And now, the star of our show, the man of whom the very president of these United States once said . . . . “Who???” . . . . just kidding, just kidding . . . .

Welcome if you will . . . . the one, the only . . .

Rance . . Head!

more wild applause as Rance runs on stage

Rance: Good evening game show junkies! And good evening to you Bobby Gilbert! Some of you good folks may not realize it, but this is a special, special occasion for our announcer, Bobby Gilbert. Tonight marks his third anniversary on television.

N: So nice of you to mention it, Rance Head. Yes, tonight marks three weeks for me on the show. I would like to thank all the little people in my life . . my mom, Mrs. Wardler next door who used to babysit my cat, my barber, my . . .

Rance: Yes, yes, well, let’s get on with the show, tell us, Bobby Gilbert, who is our first contestant tonight on . . . “Have I Got A Pill For You!”?

N: Our first guest tonight, Rance Head, is Mrs. Flora Reddekopp from Turkey Liver, West Virginia! Let’s hear it for Fllllooooooooraaaaaaaaaaa!

wild applause, Flora comes slowly on stage, looking around, bewildered

Rance: Come on up here, Flora, stand right here .. . no here . . . no, on the spot on the floor . . the other spot. There we go.

Tell me now Mrs. Reddekopp . . . may I call you Mrs. Reddekopp?

Flora, hesitatingly: Uh, yes, yes, that will be fine, I mean . .

Rance: Super, now then, Flora, tell me, . . . all together audience . . . .

taped clip: “What be ailing you?”

Flora, shocked: Uhhhh, well, it’s my knees . . arthritis pain, especially in the morning when I . . .

Rance: Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, . . . pain, . . . . arthritis, . . .

looks out into audience

What do you say, audience?

cups hand to ear

taped clip: “Have we got a pill for you!”

Rance: Right you are, audience! A pill is what we have!

picks up huge pill

We call this our “Bads Blaster”!

Like I always say, “a pill a day makes the bads stay away!”

offers pill to Flora

Now just down six of these babies 3 times a day, pain is gone, gone, gone! The Bads Blaster, a technological breakthrough from IWFYB Pharmaceuticals, bringing long lasting relief from all that ails you!

Now then, Bobby Gilbert, who might be the next contestant here on . .

Flora: Excuse me . . . excuse me . . Mr Head, excuse me . .

Rance: Yes, yes, what is it Flosie?

Flora: Flora.

Rance: Sorry. We really must be getting on to our next contestant and . .

Flora: But sir, how could I possibly swallow that pill, I mean it is huge and if I were to . .

Rance: Six pills. Three times a day.

Flora: But I couldn’t possibly, I mean . . I'd choke before I got better.

Rance: Oh too bad, sorry to do this, love to chat, but it is commercial time, time to talk about my favorite thing, the Bads Blaster. Bobby Gilbert, take it away!

N: Friends, do you find yourself worrying about tomorrow? Well, worry no more! The Bads Blaster will blast your worries away, leaving only peaceful calmness throughout your body... guaranteed to fix every problem you've ever had!

Or perhaps you are forgetful, constantly falling asleep, you guessed it, the Bads Blaster! In no time flat you will be wide awake, the life of the party.

So whatever your . . . .

Jody stands up in the audience, speaks

Jody: This is all just too silly! How do you expect us to believe that the same pill can calm you to sleep or perk you up.

N: Err, a good question, isn’t that a great question, Rance Head?

Rance: An out of sight question is what . . . now then, Bobby Gilbert, tell us, who will be contestant number . . . .

Jody, comes up on stage: Don’t brush off my questions, I want answers! The way you guys talk your pills are the answer to every ache, pain and sniffle.

Rance: Give the lady a free trial-size offer of the Bads Blaster!

pushes a very large box towards Jody

Jody: Trial size? Looks more like a six-month supply. . . 

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