Charlie Brown Advent

Charlie Brown may not be great at selecting a Christmas tree but he does develop a solid fix on the meaning of advent, and ideas about how we should treat advent today.

An easily staged comedy, useful for sermon starter.

Cast: 2
Bible Reference: Philippians 1:6 and Luke 15:1-10
Set:  Blank
Sound: wireless mic
Song:  none
Lighting: as available
SFX:  none
Props:  a very scrawny pine tree branch
 Costumes: costumes making actors appear as children, could be as simple as a bow in Lucy’s hair, ball cap on backwards for Charlie
Special Instructions:
Time: 9

Sample of script:

Charlie comes on stage carrying a very sparse tree branch,

Charlie:  Just you knock it off, Woodstock!
I am glad you went and fell outta your tree, Woodstock!
Hope you hurt yourself real good is what I hope!
Laughin’ at my Christmas tree!
What does a dumb yellow bird know about Christmas trees anyhow!
(holds the branch in various positions, examining it)
I don’t care what anyone says, this is a great Christmas tree.
It’s got . .  class . . . that’s what.
Class . . . We need more of that in our Christmas trees today.
(looks at the branch)
Not everyone’s gonna like my Christmas tree, I know that . . .
I can just hear Lucy . . .
“You’ve done it again Charlie Brown!
“You went and picked a really sick Christmas tree, Charlie Brown!
“Just take a real good look at that tree Charlie Brown!
“That is a loser tree Charlie Brown!"
(shakes head, sighs)
Good grief!
Seems like I never get any respect.
I mean like you take Schroeder . . . he plays a real mean piano.
And Lucy, she likes the way Schroeder plays the piano.
Even Snoopy, he’s only just a dog, but every year come Valentines, Snoopy gets a ton of Valentines . . .
And me? . . .  I would be over the moon if I only just got one measly Valentine.
And now it’s Christmas and I will just bet no one will say . . .
“Good job pickin’ out a tree Charlie Brown!”
“You for sure know how to pick a Christmas tree Charlie Brown!”
(shouts out)
Is it too much to ask? . . .
Just one time, give me a little respect for something!

Lucy comes on stage, ignores Charlie, pacing, scratching her head, thinking

Charlie:       OK Lucy, why doncha just go ahead, get it outta your system, OK?

Lucy continues pacing, thinking, talking to herself under her breath

Charlie:       I am waitin’ Lucy! . . . Go for it! . . . Tell me how I messed up again!

Lucy continues to ignore Charlie, Charlie stands right in front of Lucy, making her stop

Charlie:       I can take your abuse Lucy! . . . tell me just how bad my Christmas tree is!

Lucy:        Get outta my face Charlie Brown! . . .  Can’t you see I am busy thinking and all!

Charlie:       Likely thinking how you are gonna cut me down with cruel comments about my Christmas tree!

Lucy:        What Christmas tree are you talking about Charlie Brown? . .  All I see is a miserable puny little reject of an excuse for a needle-free branch.
And I have no time or interest in telling you what I really think of that stupid looking Christmas tree, Charlie Brown!

Charlie:       I do feel better when you level with me on your thoughts like that Lucy! . .  I feel better now.

Lucy:        Charlie Brown, I have no time run you into the ground about your latest mess! I have much bigger fish to fry, Charlie Brown!

Charlie:       You are gonna fry some fish Lucy? . .  Can I try some of your fish Lucy?

Lucy:        Good grief Charlie Brown! . . It was a figure of speech Charlie Brown! . . An off-the-cuff figure of speech was all it was Charlie Brown! . .  Now then, back to my thinking this thing out. . . .

Lucy starts to pace again

Charlie:       Maybe I could help you with your thinking Lucy, maybe?

Lucy:        Good grief Charlie Brown, this is not a time to bother me with your sick attempt at humor! . .  I’ve got to get focused, thinking about the advent season.

Charlie:       For sure I can help you with the advent season.

Lucy:        You know about the advent season Charlie Brown?

Charlie:       Do I know about the advent season? . .  Do fish like waterfalls?

Lucy:        No, actually fish don’t like waterfalls Charlie Brown.

Charlie:       Regardless, I do know lots about advent.

Lucy:        OK then Charlie Brown, just you go right ahead and tell me all you know about advent . .  Do it Charlie Brown!

Charlie:       Well, thing is I know lots about advent but just not when folks come out and ask me about it, OK?

Lucy:        You are a real mess Charlie Brown!

Charlie:       OK, tell me all you know about advent, if you are so smart Lucy!