Bug Professor

Chuck Charlton, in his late 70's, is a retired Professor of Entomology, in other words, a “bug” professor, trained in Paris, France, but now retired in Florida. An interesting guy, a know it all type, very crotchety, short tempered but still a lovable fella. Doesn't mind giving you a piece of his mind and sometimes he is "way out there."

This comedy was custom-written for a professional puppeteer as a puppet/ventriloquist script with lines for a puppeteer puppet and "straight person puppeteer or ventriloquist." However, it would be very useable as a regular drama and will bring lots of good, clean fun and laughs.

Cast: 2 m or f

• Tessie, puppeteer, ventriloquist, (or as an actor if used as regular drama)
• Professor Chuck Charlton, retired entomologist, "bug professor"

Bible Reference:

Set:

• standard bare stage with chair or could use a puppet stage, contact DramaShare for info

Sound: wireless mics if available

Song:

• "Entomology" lyrics written by DramaShare to the tune of "Happy Wanderer"

Lighting: standard

SFX: none

Props:

• an elderly person puppet, (written as male)

Costumes: standard

Special Instructions: none

Time: 8

Sample of script:

Tessie comes on stage carrying Chuck, talking

Chuck: Thanks for giving me a hand getting here Tessie. . . The last few years they are making stairs steeper and door knobs slipperier I tell ya. . . Don’t know what this world’s coming to is what!

Tessie: It is my pleasure to help, Professor Charlton.

Chuck: Chuck. . . Call me Chuck, Chuck Charlton is what I go by now, since I retired from my teaching and research career.

Tessie sits on chair, Chuck on her lap

Tessie: Wow! . . Teaching and research! . . Impressive!

Chuck: Well, gotta tell you, I did get my name on more than a few papers over the years, yep, yep, yep I did!

Tessie: Wow, I am impressed! . . . What was your field of specialty?

Chuck: Bugs.

Tessie: Bugs?

Chuck: Bugs.

Tessie: You mean . . bugs. . as in . . (wiggles fingers to show insect walking) . . creepy-crawly bugs?

Chuck: What did you expect? . . .Entomology, we in the industry call it.

Tessie, stumbles over the word: Ent – o – what – o - gy?

Chuck: Entomology. . . . Entomology. . . . Entomology. . . .!!!!

Tessie: And entomology would be . . .?

Chuck: You don’t listen real good do you? . . .Like I said. . . bugs.

Tessie: You specialized in . . bugs?

Chuck: I tell ya, if I had a nickel for every bug that has crawled all over this body of mine!

Tessie reacts to the thought, tries to pull away from Chuck

Tessie: That’s . . nice . . I think.

Chuck: Seein’s how I can see you are captivated by the thought of entomology I will tell you some little known facts. Entomology, it`s from the Greek, means “that which is cut in pieces", hence “insect”; and “knowledge”. So, you’ve got it: entomology, the scientific study of bugs. . . Anything else you want to know, just ask.

Tessie: I think that should mostly do it for me Professor.

Chuck: Like I said, call me Chuck.

Tessie: Chuck.

Chuck: Not many folks know that of the 1.3 million known organisms that God created, insects account for more than 2/3rds.

Tessie: I for one didn’t know that, I tell you.

Chuck: One seldom thinks of bugs until one gets down to the bug’s level. I could go on and on about other arthropod groups such as earthworms and slugs.

Tessie: Somehow I am sure that you could. . . But look at the time!

Chuck: For a fact, time is getting on! . . I sure don't want to miss my favourite TV show, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. You likely didn’t know that Gil Grissom is an entomologist.

Tessie: Who would have guessed?

Chuck: It bears telling that similarly, Dr. Jack Hodgins of the TV show, Bones, helps his team by analyzing insects and "particulates" near to or attached to decomposed victims, often identifying the precise location a murder originally occurred; Hodgins allegedly has three Ph.D.'s, one of which is in entomology.

Tessie: You are a veritable fount of bug information, aren’t you?

Chuck: Guilty as charged.

Image by Marc Rickertsen from Pixabay