Bible Warning Label

Seems like everything we get has to have a warning label.

Should there be a warning label on all bibles to pre-warn potential readers of the life-long effect that exposure to the Bible could have on their lives, and on the people around them? This monologue offers several suggested warning labels that could be used.
Beautifully written by DramaShare members Jane & Dal Harris

Cast: 1 (monolog)
Bible Reference: Romans 15:4
Set: standard
Sound: wireless mic if possible
Song: none
Lighting: ability to darken the set between scenes would be useful
SFX: none
Props: gift wrapped with ribbon, Bible, labels on paper, ribbon, inside Bible
Costumes: standard
Special Instructions: Optionally, a “presenter” can present the wrapped bible to the actor with some platitudes about the gift.
Time: 2

Sample of script:

Actor: Thank you, thank you very much! That’s nice. Thank you for this gift. Shall I open it? Okay.

Looks at package, notices label on ribbon.

Nice wrapping. Oh, here’s a lable. Ha, I already know who it’s from, thanks again. Oh, I see. It’s a warning label. Hmmm. I seems like everything has a warning label these days.

(READS)

“Danger. Ribbon can present a strangling hazard for small children. To be used only under adult supervision.”Hmmm. I seems like everything has a warning label these days.
Removes ribbon, notices second label on paper.
Another label!

(READS)

“Caution: Wrapping paper is flammable and presents a hazard. Please insure it is disposed of properly.
(PAUSE –Turns Over label)
Not responsible for consequences of misuse. Contact www.paperhazard.com for more information.”
That is just too much.

Tears off paper, sees bible and smiles happily

Image by Andreas from Pixabay