When a Child Doesn’t Want to Be in the Church Play

It happens in Christmas programs, Easter plays, VBS, and children’s ministry.

A parent signs up the family. One child is excited. Another is willing enough.

And then there is the child standing in the corner with an expression that says:

“I hate this!”

Sometimes the child is shy. Sometimes drama simply is not their thing. Sometimes Mom or Dad decided that being in the church play would be “good for them.”

So what does a drama director do?

The goal should not be to force that child to become an enthusiastic actor.

The better goal is to help them discover that there may be a place for them in the production after all.

First, Find Out Why They Don’t Want to Be There

A child who says, “I hate acting,” may actually mean something else.

They may be afraid they will forget their lines. They may be nervous about standing in front of people. They may not know anyone else in the cast.

Or they may be frustrated because someone else made the decision for them.

Before trying to change their attitude, get to know them a little.

You might quietly ask:

“What part of this makes you nervous?”

Or:

“If you could do anything in the play, what would you like to do?”

The answer may surprise you.

Give Them a Job That Belongs to Them

One of the easiest ways to help a reluctant child become involved is to give them something specific to do.

Instead of saying:

“We need everybody to participate.”

Try:

“I think you would be really good at this part.”

There is a big difference.

A child who feels like one more body filling space may not care very much about the production. A child who knows they have a specific job may begin to see things differently.

Not everyone needs the leading role.

Sometimes the smallest responsibility can create a sense of belonging.

Remember That Drama Is More Than Speaking Parts

We sometimes make the mistake of thinking that being involved in a play means standing on stage and delivering lines.

It doesn't.

A reluctant actor might enjoy:

• Helping with props
• Making sound effects
• Moving scenery
• Helping with costumes
• Operating puppets
• Being part of a crowd scene
• Helping younger children remember where to stand

One child may dread speaking three lines in front of the congregation but happily spend the entire rehearsal organizing props.

That child is still part of the ministry.

And after becoming comfortable with the group, they may even decide to try a small acting role later.

Make Rehearsal a Place Kids Want to Come Back To

Children quickly decide whether rehearsal is something they look forward to or something they endure.

Rehearsal still needs structure. Lines need to be learned. Entrances need to be practiced. People need to pay attention.

But rehearsal can also include laughter, drama games, encouragement, and time for children to become comfortable with one another.

A good rehearsal is not simply about getting the play ready. It is also about developing the people who are presenting it.

If every rehearsal consists of adults saying:

“Quiet.”

“Stand there.”

“Say it again.”

“Pay attention.”

…we probably shouldn't be surprised when some children stop enjoying drama.

Remember the Ministry Behind the Play

When the Christmas program is three weeks away and half the cast still doesn't know their lines, it is easy to focus entirely on the production.

Will they remember their entrances?

Will the costumes be ready?

Will somebody please stop losing the shepherd's staff?

Those things matter.

But the children matter more.

Years from now, they probably won't remember whether every line was delivered perfectly.

They may remember the director who told them:

“You're important to this team.”

They may remember laughing during rehearsal.

They may remember being given a responsibility and discovering they could handle it.

And they may remember that church was a place where there was room for them.

Even if Mom made them join the play in the first place.

From the Church Drama Guy