If Heaven Were Run By The Government

What if getting into Heaven required government-style paperwork? In this hilarious and thought-provoking play, George Reynolds arrives at Heaven’s gates, eager to enter—only to find himself tangled in an absurd bureaucratic process. With endless application forms, missing documents, and an ever-growing line of impatient newcomers, George soon realizes that navigating Heaven’s red tape is just as frustrating as it was on Earth!

With the witty guidance of St. Peter and the overworked angelic assistant Angela, George learns that salvation isn't something to be earned through paperwork—but it sure makes for a great comedy!

A lighthearted and engaging performance, If Heaven Were Run By The Government© pokes fun at bureaucracy while reinforcing the core message of grace and faith.

Cast & Run-time

• Cast: 4+ actors (George, St. Peter, Angela, Connie, and optional extras as people in line)
• Run-time: Approximately 15-20 minutes

arrator: George Reynolds has just died and, being a Christian, he has arrived at the gates of Heaven. George is at the front of a long line of people waiting to get in. He is talking to a woman, named Connie, who is next in line.

George: Well, according to the sign, Heaven should be opening pretty soon. How long have we been waiting here anyway?

Connie: It seems like eternity, (she laughs) but of course, it couldn’t have been that long.

George: I wonder if their clocks stopped… oops, I forgot, they don’t have clocks here. Time doesn’t even exist up here. At least we don’t have to remember to change our clocks in the fall and spring.

Connie: You’ve got that right… they don’t even have seasons up here. They probably don’t even have Time magazine.

George: It’s going to take me a while to get used to not looking at my watch and checking my daytimer. The best part is that I won’t have that stupid alarm clock going off in the morning.

Connie: Look, someone is coming. He must be getting ready to open Heaven. It’s about time… oops, I mean I’m glad we won’t have to wait any longer to get in.

St. Peter: Welcome to Heaven, George. There for a while, I didn’t think you were going to make it. You seemed to think that your good works were going to save you. Thank God that you saw the light and let Jesus do the saving for you.

George: Well, St. Peter, I guess I was a little slow on the uptake. I just didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t do it on my own. After all, I have pretty impressive credentials. Just look at my resume. I was a corporate manager, set all kinds of earnings records, and made a six-digit salary plus perks.

St. Peter: (clears his throat) Are we back to works again?

George: Sorry. It’s a difficult habit to break.

St. Peter: I know. That’s why a lot of people don’t make it to Heaven. They want to earn their way instead of accepting what Jesus did for them on the cross. Some people actually try to buy their way into Heaven, as if they have enough money. And God isn’t impressed with their good works. Their best accomplishments are nothing compared to the least of God’s miracles. Well, on with the application process. Come over to my office and sit down. (St. Peter and George go over to a table and two chairs and sit down.) Did you complete the 50-page application form in triplicate?

George: Yes, but I couldn’t complete all the sections. I didn’t understand all of the questions.

St. Peter: Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have that problem. Let me take a look at what you did complete. (He looks at the document.) Not bad for your first attempt. However, you skipped several sections.

George: I didn’t think they applied to me. Besides, I think page 29 is missing.

St. Peter: You have to complete all of the sections, even if they don’t apply to you. You just cross out the sections that don’t apply. By the way, page 29 is just for recent converts and according to our records, you were saved several years ago.

George: That’s right. I responded to an altar call at the First Baptist Church in Knoxville, Tennessee. Pastor Chuck was the one who led me in the Sinner’s Prayer, and I was baptized a month later. That was really a special day.

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